GE\u00c7EN HAFTA arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131n telefon defterinde bir numara ararken aras\u0131ndaki bir kartvizit dikkatimi \u00e7ekti. Ortada kartviziti bast\u0131ran \u015fahs\u0131n ismi, alt\u0131nda ise \u00fcnvan olarak \u2018kimya m\u00fchendisi\u2019 yaz\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. Kart\u0131n \u00fcst k\u0131sm\u0131na ise bir z\u00fcccaciye d\u00fckkan\u0131n\u0131n ismi bas\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla yanl\u0131\u015f m\u0131 okudum acaba diyerek karta tekrar tekrar bakt\u0131m. Kimya m\u00fchendisli\u011fi ile z\u00fcccaciye d\u00fckkan\u0131 aras\u0131nda bir ili\u015fki kuramam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Fakat hay\u0131r, yanl\u0131\u015f okumam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Belli ki kart\u0131 bast\u0131ran \u015fah\u0131s kimya m\u00fchendisli\u011fini bitirmi\u015f, fakat sonradan ticarete at\u0131l\u0131p bir z\u00fcccaciye d\u00fckkan\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kartvizitin alt\u0131na da \u201cBak\u0131n, ben m\u00fchendisim ha; s\u0131radan bir esnaf de\u011filim\u201d dercesine \u2018m\u00fch.\u2019 ibaresini yazd\u0131rmadan edememi\u015fti. Fes\u00fcbhanallah dedim kendi kendime. Ve g\u00fclmekten de kendimi alamad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
O ak\u015fam da, \u00e7o\u011fu ak\u015fam oldu\u011fu gibi binbir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler, binbir hesaplar ile yata\u011fa girmi\u015fken, bu kartvizit tekrar hat\u0131r\u0131ma geldi. \u015eunu \u015f\u00f6yle yapay\u0131m, bunu b\u00f6yle yapay\u0131m, bunu b\u00f6yle ayarlayay\u0131m diye planlar yap\u0131p kurgular kurarak, olabilecek t\u00fcm ihtimalleri hesaba katarak kafamda senaryolar yazarken, zihnim gene a\u011f\u0131r bir y\u00fck\u00fcn alt\u0131na girmi\u015fti. Fakat gene \u00e7o\u011fu zaman oldu\u011fu gibi, \u00f6l\u00fcm fikri k\u0131y\u0131dan k\u00f6\u015feden bir yerden zihnime girmeyi ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f, b\u00fct\u00fcn hesaplar\u0131m\u0131n, planlar\u0131m\u0131n \u00fczerine dinamit yerle\u015ftirmi\u015fti. \u0130\u015fte gene hayata ait sorularla ba\u015fba\u015fa kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Duygular\u0131m \u201cHay\u0131r, \u015fimdi de\u011fil, daha yapacak \u00e7ok i\u015fim var\u201d diyerek \u00f6l\u00fcme kar\u015f\u0131 direniyordu. Fakat \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn ne zaman gelece\u011finin belirsiz olmas\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fczel planlar\u0131m\u0131, hayallerimi, umutlar\u0131m\u0131 anlams\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015fevkimi ve arzumu k\u0131r\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fte bunlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken o kartvizit g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcne geldi. Fakat bu sefer kart\u0131n \u00fczerinde kendi ismim yaz\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. Alt\u0131nda da as\u0131l mesle\u011fim, ger\u00e7ek vazifem. Binbir \u00e7e\u015fit ikram ve ihsanatla misafir edildi\u011fim \u015fu k\u00e2inat saray\u0131n\u0131n Sahibini tan\u0131makla vazifelendirilmi\u015ftim. An be an tazelenen mahlukat\u0131n ne kadar muazzam ve hikmetli yarat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 seyretmek, seyrettik\u00e7e hayret etmek, hayret ettik\u00e7e o saray Sahibinin uluhiyetinin s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda aln\u0131m\u0131 yere koyacak kadar al\u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ifade etmek Zat’\u0131n emirlerini tan\u0131mak ve O\u2019nun izni dairesinde hareket etmekti.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fte as\u0131l vazife buyken, ben de o kartvizitteki \u015fah\u0131s gibi, ger\u00e7ek mesle\u011fimi bir kenara b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f, bir z\u00fcccaciye d\u00fckkan\u0131ndaki cam e\u015fyalar \u00e7e\u015fitlili\u011finde kendime de\u011fi\u015fik hedefler saptam\u0131\u015f, planlar kurmu\u015ftum. Bunun fark\u0131na da, ancak geceleri \u00f6l\u00fcm fikri gelip de sanc\u0131 yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman varabiliyordum.<\/p>\n
\u00d6l\u00fcm var deyip hi\u00e7 \u00fcst\u00fcne almamak; ya da ahiret var deyip sanki yokmu\u015f gibi davranmak… Hayret do\u011frusu! Bu sefer kendime fes\u00fcbhanallah dedim, fakat g\u00fclemedim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
GE\u00c7EN HAFTA arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131n telefon defterinde bir numara ararken aras\u0131ndaki bir kartvizit dikkatimi \u00e7ekti. Ortada kartviziti bast\u0131ran \u015fahs\u0131n ismi, alt\u0131nda ise \u00fcnvan olarak \u2018kimya m\u00fchendisi\u2019 yaz\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. Kart\u0131n \u00fcst k\u0131sm\u0131na ise bir z\u00fcccaciye d\u00fckkan\u0131n\u0131n ismi bas\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla yanl\u0131\u015f m\u0131 okudum acaba diyerek karta tekrar tekrar bakt\u0131m. Kimya m\u00fchendisli\u011fi ile z\u00fcccaciye d\u00fckkan\u0131 aras\u0131nda bir ili\u015fki kuramam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Fakat hay\u0131r, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":143,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[414],"class_list":["post-90851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arsiv"],"yoast_head":"\n