Otob\u00fcs\u00fcm\u00fcz her durakta ba\u015fka yorgunlarla doluyor… Her durakta, ba\u015fka tan\u0131d\u0131klar, \u00f6nce boyunlar\u0131n\u0131 uzatarak giriyor i\u00e7eriye…<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015ften eve d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum, yorgun g\u00f6zleri camlarda k\u0131s\u0131lm\u0131\u015flar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcyle… G\u00f6rm\u00fcyoruz birbirimizi… G\u00f6rm\u00fcyoruz camlar\u0131n arkas\u0131ndan ge\u00e7en d\u00fcnyay\u0131… G\u00f6rm\u00fcyoruz, acemi bir seyyah\u0131n camlarda g\u00f6rebileceklerinin hi\u00e7birini… Oysa yolculuk d\u00fc\u015f kurmakt\u0131r biraz da… Hat\u0131ra biriktirmektir. \u00c7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mlara dalmakt\u0131r. Eski g\u00fcnlere gitmektir.<\/p>\n
Kimse kimseyle konu\u015fmuyor otob\u00fcs\u00fcm\u00fczde… Fazla geliyor hayal kurmak. A\u011f\u0131r geliyor y\u00fcz y\u00fcze konu\u015fmak. A\u011f\u0131r geliyor, ince duygular, a\u011f\u0131r geliyor burada, insan olmak bile… \u0130nsan, yorgunken insand\u0131r en fazla, oysa…<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015ften eve d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum, bu hayat\u0131n ger\u00e7eklerine ait hi\u00e7bir ses duymaya tahamm\u00fcl\u00fc kalmam\u0131\u015f insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcyle… G\u00fcn boyu i\u015fitti\u011fi d\u00fcnya sesinin \u015fiddetinden rahats\u0131z olup kulaklar\u0131na aletler takan insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fc buras\u0131… Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 boynu k\u0131r\u0131k hayata hi\u00e7 benzemeyen s\u00f6zlerin ge\u00e7ti\u011fi \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131, hayat\u0131 kendi hayat\u0131na benzemeyen sanat\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131n seslerini kula\u011f\u0131na ge\u00e7irerek, k\u0131s\u0131yoruz d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sesini… Birbirimizi duymamak konusunda ayn\u0131 sesi \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yoruz… Uyum i\u00e7erisindeyiz, birbirimizden kopuklu\u011fumuz konusunda…<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015ften eve d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum, hayattan istifa etmi\u015f insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcyle… Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fc sevmemi\u015f insanlar… O sevmedi\u011fi g\u00fcn\u00fc, daha derinden tekrarlamak i\u00e7in haz\u0131rlanmaktan ba\u015fka bir \u015feye yaramayan evlerine giden insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fc buras\u0131… Dinlenmek i\u00e7in \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sanan, ama asl\u0131nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak i\u00e7in dinlenen insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fc buras\u0131… Bu y\u00fczden kimse kimsenin y\u00fcz\u00fcne rahatl\u0131kla bakamaz…<\/p>\n
Otob\u00fcs\u00fcm\u00fcz her durakta ba\u015fka yorgunlar\u0131 evlerine b\u0131rak\u0131yor. Her durakta, boyunlar\u0131n\u0131 ellerine alarak iniyorlar, tan\u0131d\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z… Vedala\u015fmadan iniyorlar, \u00e2det bu… Ellerindeki y\u00fczlerini, g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcslerine \u00e7evirerek, onu saklayarak iniyorlar… Kimilerinin y\u00fcz\u00fc inerken d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor yere… Evine g\u00f6t\u00fcrmeye kararl\u0131 oldu\u011fu y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcyor… \u0130\u015flerin, sorumluluklar\u0131n sildi\u011fi \u00e7izgilerini yeniden \u00e7izece\u011fi y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcyor… Evine vard\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, \u201cy\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131yamad\u0131n, neden g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemiyorsun, nerede y\u00fcz\u00fcn, neden ilgi g\u00f6stermiyorsun bana\u201d diye k\u0131z\u0131yorlar ona, hem de \u00e7ok…<\/p>\n
Ben de y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm \u00e7o\u011fu kez, onun gibi… Evime bir bo\u015fluk gibi vard\u0131m… Sabah en y\u00fcksek varl\u0131\u011f\u0131mla ayr\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m evime, bir hayalet gibi geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. B\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc o hayat, o i\u015fler, o binalar… Size zaman\u0131m yok, kendime zaman\u0131m yok, kendime \u201cben\u201d yokum, size \u201cben\u201d yokum, ben y\u00fcz \u00e7izgileri kaybolmu\u015f bir insan tasla\u011f\u0131y\u0131m, dedim. \u201c\u0130\u015fleri, sorumluluklar\u0131 gelip b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc koparm\u0131\u015f insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcnden indim ben de\u201d dedim, a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a ve samimiyetle… \u00dczerimde d\u00fcnya ile yorulmu\u015f insanlar\u0131n bezdirici kokusu…<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015ften eve d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum… Bir yere varmak isteyen insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn, inmeye i\u015ftihas\u0131z insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcne d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc son durakta iniyoruz.<\/p>\n
Karanl\u0131k bir sokaktan evimize silik, orta s\u0131n\u0131f ayaklar\u0131m\u0131zla y\u00fcr\u00fcyoruz.<\/p>\n
Y\u00fcr\u00fcrken kulaklar\u0131n\u0131 kapatm\u0131\u015f insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum… G\u00f6zlerini yummu\u015f, yar\u0131ndan tedirgin olmu\u015f insanlar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum…<\/p>\n
Elimdeki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck tan\u0131t\u0131m bro\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm yola usulca b\u0131rakarak yoluma devam ediyorum. Kimbilir, birileri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yerde ararken, onu eline al\u0131r, \u00e7izgilerini unuttu\u011fu y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc, yeniden \u00e7izmek i\u00e7in bir f\u0131rsat bulur, diyorum…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Otob\u00fcs\u00fcm\u00fcz her durakta ba\u015fka yorgunlarla doluyor… Her durakta, ba\u015fka tan\u0131d\u0131klar, \u00f6nce boyunlar\u0131n\u0131 uzatarak giriyor i\u00e7eriye… \u0130\u015ften eve d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum, yorgun g\u00f6zleri camlarda k\u0131s\u0131lm\u0131\u015flar\u0131n otob\u00fcs\u00fcyle… G\u00f6rm\u00fcyoruz birbirimizi… G\u00f6rm\u00fcyoruz camlar\u0131n arkas\u0131ndan ge\u00e7en d\u00fcnyay\u0131… G\u00f6rm\u00fcyoruz, acemi bir seyyah\u0131n camlarda g\u00f6rebileceklerinin hi\u00e7birini… Oysa yolculuk d\u00fc\u015f kurmakt\u0131r biraz da… Hat\u0131ra biriktirmektir. \u00c7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mlara dalmakt\u0131r. Eski g\u00fcnlere gitmektir. Kimse kimseyle konu\u015fmuyor otob\u00fcs\u00fcm\u00fczde… Fazla […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":70,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[268],"class_list":["post-90503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n