21.02.2008<\/p>\n
BELK\u0130 FARKINDA olmadan hayat\u0131m\u0131n (Allahu a\u2019lem) b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc ya\u015fad\u0131m. Umar\u0131m Rabbim \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn geri kalan\u0131nda \u201c\u0131\u00e7erisinde \u015f\u00fcphe olmayan kitap\u201dla aramdaki ili\u015fkiyi daha da geli\u015ftirir ve r\u0131zas\u0131na uygun ya\u015famay\u0131 nasip eder.<\/p>\n
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Neredeyse k\u0131rk y\u0131la yakla\u015fan hayat\u0131m boyunca g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm, tatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hi\u00e7bir \u015fey kerim olan Rabbime y\u00f6neli\u015f kadar bana haz varmedi. Ne yaz\u0131k ki bu anlar\u0131n azl\u0131\u011f\u0131, yetersizli\u011fi, eksikli\u011fi ve di\u011fer vakitlerin kirlili\u011fi, bo\u015flu\u011fu, vefas\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 hep g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc, g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc hasrette koydu.<\/p>\n
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Anlad\u0131m; de\u011fil bu gezegende, b\u00fct\u00fcn bir kainatta yaln\u0131z\u0131m. Annem, babam, e\u015fim, \u00e7ocu\u011fum, dostlar, arkada\u015flar ve b\u00fct\u00fcn kalabal\u0131klar… hepsi bo\u015f. Bir y\u00f6n\u00fcyle hepsi Rabbimle arama dikildi durdu. Ve ben hep \u015funu, bunu bahane ede ede, bile bile hayat\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ar\u00e7ur ettim gitti.<\/p>\n
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\u015eimdi belki ge\u00e7 ama, daha farkl\u0131, daha i\u00e7ten bir \u015fekilde biricik Rabbime tekrar y\u00f6neli\u015fin yollar\u0131n\u0131 ar\u0131yorum. Bunun mutlaka bir yolu olmal\u0131 diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n
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Ellerimi, kollar\u0131m\u0131, ayaklar\u0131m\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle bedenimi s\u00fcrekli geriye do\u011fru \u00e7eken halatlar yuma\u011f\u0131na ra\u011fmen, b\u00fct\u00fcn bu g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayat\u0131n karma\u015fas\u0131, bocalamas\u0131, yalpalamalar\u0131 i\u00e7erisinde \u201cAlemler\u0131n Rabbi\u201d ile aramdaki rab\u0131tay\u0131 koruyabilmenin bir yolu olmal\u0131 diyorum.<\/p>\n
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\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, madem O Rahman\u2019d\u0131r, Duyan\u2019d\u0131r, G\u00f6ren\u2019dir, Bilen\u2019dir, madem istemeyi Veren\u2019dir, madem benim i\u00e7ime bu aray\u0131\u015f\u0131, s\u0131zlay\u0131\u015f\u0131, bekleyi\u015fi koyand\u0131r, o halde bu ate\u015fin suyunu bilen de O\u2019dur.<\/p>\n
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Ya Rabbi! \u201cHer arayan bulamayabilir, ancak bulanlar arayanlard\u0131r\u201d s\u0131rr\u0131 gere\u011fi, belki \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn son an\u0131na kadar bulamasam, yakalayamasam dahi, beni arama, \u00fcmitlenme, gayret etme kararl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan mahrum etme. Beni becerememenin, bulamaman\u0131n karamsarl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, mazeretler \u00e7ukurunda bo\u011fma. \u0130\u00e7imi seviye seviye kemiren sorgu, kuruntu, \u00f6nyarg\u0131 ve kabullerimin sana uzanan yolda \u00f6n\u00fcme dikili\u015flerinde bana g\u00fc\u00e7 ver. Fark\u0131nda olarak veya olmayarak i\u00e7imde besledi\u011fim, b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm b\u00fct\u00fcn yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131, k\u00f6t\u00fcleri g\u00f6rme, anlama ve de\u011fi\u015ftirme f\u0131rsat\u0131 ver.<\/p>\n
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Ya Rabbi! G\u00fcnbeg\u00fcn \u00fczerime s\u0131\u00e7rayan, bula\u015fan kirleri temizleme f\u0131rsat\u0131 ver. \u201cRablerinden bir hidayet \u00fczere olanlar\u201ddan olabilmenin iste\u011fini, kararl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ver.<\/p>\n
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\u201cKurtulu\u015fa erenler\u201dden eyle…<\/p>\n
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\u00c2m\u00een<\/p>\n
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21.02.2008 BELK\u0130 FARKINDA olmadan hayat\u0131m\u0131n (Allahu a\u2019lem) b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc ya\u015fad\u0131m. Umar\u0131m Rabbim \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn geri kalan\u0131nda \u201c\u0131\u00e7erisinde \u015f\u00fcphe olmayan kitap\u201dla aramdaki ili\u015fkiyi daha da geli\u015ftirir ve r\u0131zas\u0131na uygun ya\u015famay\u0131 nasip eder. Neredeyse k\u0131rk y\u0131la yakla\u015fan hayat\u0131m boyunca g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm, tatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hi\u00e7bir \u015fey kerim olan Rabbime y\u00f6neli\u015f kadar bana haz varmedi. Ne yaz\u0131k ki bu anlar\u0131n […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":53,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[236],"class_list":["post-90343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n