31.03.2008<\/p>\n
Her iki aynada kendimi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Daha \u00f6nce \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftim; bir a\u011fa\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fcnen hacmi, y\u00fczeyde kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 alan kadar bir hacme, toprak alt\u0131nda da sahipti. Bu ger\u00e7ek a\u011fac\u0131 daha g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc k\u0131l\u0131yordu. Gerek d\u0131\u015f y\u00fczeyde kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 alan a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan, gerekse k\u00f6kleriyle kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 geni\u015f alan ile.<\/p>\n
\u00c7\u0131nar\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcnen hacmi sanki d\u00fcnyaya olan ba\u011flar\u0131m\u0131za i\u015faret ediyordu. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc g\u00f6vdesiyle ve sa\u011flam duru\u015fuyla, g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc ile b\u0131rakamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ve her ge\u00e7en anla kuvvetlenen nefisle beslenerek b\u00fcy\u00fcyen ba\u011flar\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131\u2026 Sa\u011flam duru\u015fu ise t\u00fcm ge\u00e7icili\u011fine ra\u011fmen hi\u00e7 bitmeyecekmi\u015f gibi s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z hallerimize ve halime bak\u0131yor olmas\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ve a\u011fac\u0131n i\u00e7ine s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f berrak duran g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc ile adeta konu\u015fan bir bilge misali duran mezar ta\u015f\u0131 ise; \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc hat\u0131rlatmas\u0131 cihetiyle ahiretimize bak\u0131yordu. Adeta bu d\u00fcnyada kazan\u0131lm\u0131\u015f di\u011fer alemde neticesi al\u0131nacak ders notu gibiydi bu g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcyle a\u011fa\u00e7. Bu haliyle onu g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc yapan beslendi\u011fi damarlard\u0131; yani nefis kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00fc\u00e7lendi\u011fimiz hallerimize bak\u0131yordu. Etraf\u0131n\u0131 saran ta\u015f duvarlara ra\u011fmen g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc kuvvetini hi\u00e7 kaybetmeden, zamana e\u011filmeden kaderini ya\u015f\u0131yordu. Kader arkada\u015f\u0131 ise mezarta\u015flar\u0131yd\u0131; hi\u00e7 unutmamas\u0131 gereken, her daim hat\u0131rlamaya ihtiya\u00e7 duydu\u011fu ve hat\u0131rlamas\u0131 ile hayat\u0131n her solu\u011funda anlam kazanan bir nefesti bizim i\u00e7in…<\/p>\n
Bu resmi bana g\u00f6nderen ki\u015fi, uzun seyrimin sonunda aynada kendimle y\u00fczle\u015fmeme sebep olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 nereden bilebilirdi ki! Resme bakt\u0131k\u00e7a beni h\u00e2l\u00e2 bir y\u00f6n\u00fc ile inciten ve bakt\u0131k\u00e7a h\u00fcz\u00fcnlendi\u011fim as\u0131l husus, d\u00fcnyaya ait nefsan\u00ee ba\u011flar\u0131m olmal\u0131yd\u0131. \u00c7\u0131nar a\u011fac\u0131n nezninde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm, esas\u0131nda kendi yans\u0131mamd\u0131. Dahas\u0131, ka\u00e7amad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, bir g\u00fcn ger\u00e7ekle\u015fecek olan, hayat ile ba\u011f\u0131m\u0131 koparacak \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcmd\u00fc. Ayette bize haber verildi\u011fi gibi: \u201cHer nefis \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc tadacakt\u0131r\u201d ve \u201cO\u2019ndan geldik, d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcz yine O\u2019nad\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00d6l\u00fcm belki de insan\u0131n evren ile olan ili\u015fkisinin bir boyutu. Mevlana Hazretleri ne g\u00fczel ifade etmi\u015f: \u201cEy \u00f6l\u00fcmden korkup ka\u00e7an can! \u0130\u015fin asl\u0131n\u0131, s\u00f6z\u00fcn do\u011frusunu istersen, sen \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden korkmuyorsun, sen kendinden korkuyorsun. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm aynas\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcp \u00fcrkt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u00e7ehresi de\u011fil, senin kendi \u00e7irkin y\u00fcz\u00fcnd\u00fcr. Senin ruhun bir a\u011faca benzer. \u00d6l\u00fcm ise a\u011fac\u0131n yapra\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Her yaprak a\u011fac\u0131n cinsine g\u00f6redir.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bununla beraber, sonsuz isteklerimizin, bitip t\u00fckenmeyen arzular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n, h\u0131rslar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n, t\u00fcm acizli\u011fimizin, s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 c\u00fcz\u2019\u00ee irademizle s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z\u0131 istemenin, t\u00fcm bunlarla daha bir mutsuz, daha bir yaln\u0131z hale gelmenin, hatta karanl\u0131k yaln\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131n da sahibi oluvermi\u015ftik.<\/p>\n
Te\u015fekk\u00fcrler mezarta\u015f\u0131! Ancak canl\u0131 ger\u00e7ekli\u011finle hayat ger\u00e7e\u011fimiz anlaml\u0131 olabilirdi. \u00c7ekilen s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar, ya\u015fan\u0131lan pi\u015fmanl\u0131lar ve defalarca neden diye sormalar\u0131m\u0131z, sahte y\u00fczlere \u00f6fkelerimiz, bir\u00e7ok defa maruz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z haks\u0131zl\u0131klar s\u0131k\u00e7a i\u00e7ine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz \u00fcmitsizliklerimiz; t\u00fcm bunlara dayanma g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc ancak \u00f6l\u00fcm hakikati anlatabilirdi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm varsa verilecek bir hesap vard\u0131. Bir b\u00fcy\u00fck Mahkeme-i K\u00fcbra, terazisi hi\u00e7 \u015fa\u015fmayacak olan Hesap G\u00fcn\u00fc ve rahmet s\u0131fat\u0131n\u0131n Sahibi vard\u0131.<\/p>\n
Demek ki, insan\u0131n Rabbi ile ili\u015fkisini belirleyen ve sorgulatan, ka\u00e7amad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir ger\u00e7e\u011fimizdir \u00f6l\u00fcm. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcn hakikati ile besledi\u011fimiz, asl\u0131nda kendi ger\u00e7ekli\u011fimizdir. Kalblerimizi, zihinlerimizi suk\u00fcnete erdiren budur. Mezarta\u015f\u0131n\u0131n hat\u0131rlatt\u0131klar\u0131na y\u00fcklenen anlam daha bir parlak \u015fimdi; art\u0131k biliyordum, \u00f6l\u00fcm bir yokolu\u015f de\u011fildir, \u00f6l\u00fcm terhis olmakt\u0131r bu \u00e2lemden ebediyete.. Ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z ise imtihan s\u0131rr\u0131 ile g\u00f6nderilen birer mektup de\u011ferindedir; do\u011fru okunmas\u0131 gereken mektuplar\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131r\u2026 Tohumdur onlar ayn\u0131 zamanda, filizlenmek \u00fczere ahiret yurduna g\u00f6nderilen…<\/p>\n
Bunlar\u0131 biliyor olmakla birlikte d\u00fcnyaya s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131lmak, g\u00fczellikleri buradaki s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 halleriyle g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir sevgiyle sevmek; i\u015fte buydu s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n kayna\u011f\u0131, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bu gelgitler olmal\u0131yd\u0131 bize ac\u0131 veren\u2026 \u0130nsand\u0131k ve nisyand\u0131 tarifimiz. Di\u011fer taraftan da hayat\u0131 \u00e7ok seviyor olmam\u0131z bu ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6rtemezdi. Evet hayat\u0131 \u00e7ok seviyorduk; baz\u0131 \u015feyler var ki vazge\u00e7emeyecek kadar ba\u011fl\u0131yd\u0131k. Kalbim sevdi\u011fim \u015feylerden \u015fu g\u00f6r\u00fcnen \u00e2leme ait ne varsa b\u0131rakmak istemiyordu.<\/p>\n
D\u00fcnya tatl\u0131yd\u0131, ama susuzlu\u011fumuzu art\u0131r\u0131yordu. D\u00fcnyay\u0131, yani hayat\u0131n kendisini seviyorduk. Hayat ile g\u00f6z\u00fcken her\u015fey g\u00fczeldi ve insan devam etsin istiyordu. Ayn\u0131 anda da biliyordum, \u015fefkati ve rahmeti nihayetsiz bir Yarat\u0131c\u0131 vard\u0131 O var edendi var etmi\u015fti t\u00fcm g\u00fczelli\u011fi ile kainat\u0131. Muhatap oldu\u011fumuz her bir g\u00fczellik O\u2019nun sonsuz esmas\u0131n\u0131n yans\u0131malar\u0131yd\u0131. Burada g\u00f6rebildi\u011fimiz ve sevdi\u011fimiz her bir \u015feyi ebediyete g\u00f6ndermemesi hi\u00e7 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fcyd\u00fc? G\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz, ba\u011fland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, sevdi\u011fimiz her bir \u015feyi ebedi hayat\u0131m\u0131zda da ayn\u0131s\u0131yla g\u00f6rmek istiyorduk. Biliyorduk; asl\u0131nda burada g\u00f6r\u00fcnen t\u00fcm g\u00fczellikler bekaya ak\u0131yordu, burada var edilmi\u015f olmalar\u0131 ayn\u0131 zamanda ebedi alemimizde de g\u00f6nderilecek olmas\u0131n\u0131n bir deliliydi. \u0130leriye do\u011fru yol alan ama arkada b\u0131rakt\u0131klar\u0131na bakan \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n yolcuya benziyordu hallerimiz.<\/p>\n
\u00d6l\u00fcm ve hayat Rabb-\u0131 Rah\u00eem\u2019e olan yolculu\u011fumuzdu. Yolculukta haz\u0131rlanmak \u00f6nemliydi; az\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ne kadar planl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f olsa o kadar s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131z ge\u00e7erdi\u2026<\/p>\n
T\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 biliyordu nefsim, zihnime defalarca kaz\u0131m\u0131\u015ft\u0131m bunu. Yine de, insan nisyanla m\u00e2l\u00fbld\u00fc. Ve bu d\u00fcnya bir terhisti. Ebed\u00ee olana bir yolculuktu.<\/p>\n
Bunu s\u0131k s\u0131k unutsa da, sonra tek bir karede okuyabiliyordu insan ger\u00e7e\u011fi. Bir kare ki, her iki alemimize bakan, birbiri i\u00e7inde birbirine bakan. Hayata ve \u00f6l\u00fcme beraberce bakan.<\/p>\n
Mevlana\u2019n\u0131n dile getirdi\u011fi gibi, \u201cHi\u00e7bir \u00f6l\u00fc, \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne yanmaz, hay\u0131flanmaz. Az\u0131\u011f\u0131n azl\u0131\u011f\u0131na yanar. Yoksa asl\u0131nda o dar bir yerden bir kuyudan kurtulmu\u015ftur. Bir ovaya d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f, bir devlete kavu\u015fmu\u015f ferahl\u0131\u011fa ermi\u015ftir.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
31.03.2008 Her iki aynada kendimi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Daha \u00f6nce \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftim; bir a\u011fa\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fcnen hacmi, y\u00fczeyde kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 alan kadar bir hacme, toprak alt\u0131nda da sahipti. Bu ger\u00e7ek a\u011fac\u0131 daha g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc k\u0131l\u0131yordu. Gerek d\u0131\u015f y\u00fczeyde kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 alan a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan, gerekse k\u00f6kleriyle kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 geni\u015f alan ile. \u00c7\u0131nar\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcnen hacmi sanki d\u00fcnyaya olan ba\u011flar\u0131m\u0131za i\u015faret ediyordu. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc g\u00f6vdesiyle ve sa\u011flam duru\u015fuyla, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":90226,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[218],"class_list":["post-90223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n