30.01.2004<\/p>\n
C\u0130DD\u00ce BUHRANLARI ta\u015f\u0131yan s\u00fcrekli karanl\u0131klarda s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin kalelerine s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacak cesareti yitiren; sevginin, \u015fefkatin, nefretin ve \u00f6fkenin yolunu \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtarak bu duygular\u0131 i\u00e7indeki yang\u0131na d\u00f6ken bir ruhun korkun\u00e7 meydanlardaki \u00e7aresizli\u011fidir intihar. Ceza korkusu ya da yanl\u0131\u015f korkular\u0131n cezas\u0131; b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar k\u00e2inat manzaralar\u0131n\u0131n hayat anlam\u0131n\u0131 u\u00e7urmu\u015ftur. M\u00fcntehirin verecek cevab\u0131 yoktur.<\/p>\n
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\u00d6mer Hayyam\u2019\u0131n, Ebu\u2019l-A\u2019l\u00e2 el-Maarr\u00ee\u2019nin feryatlar\u0131, Werther\u2019in inleyi\u015fleri de bir t\u00fcr intihar say\u0131lmaz m\u0131?<\/p>\n
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Kalbini sahibine teslim etmi\u015f bir can\u0131n d\u00fcnya korkular\u0131 \u00e2r\u0131z\u00eedir; ger\u00e7ek olamaz. Kendisinden \u00fcrken insan da, e\u015fya zaman\u0131n \u00f6tedeki ve berideki iki ucunu \u00e7i\u00e7ekledi\u011fi h\u00e2lde her\u015feyi donmu\u015f, kurmu\u015f, durmu\u015f sanarak hi\u00e7bir \u015feye ko\u015far. Suskundur. Haf\u0131zan\u0131n akl\u0131n d\u00fcnyas\u0131, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n da akl\u0131n haf\u0131zas\u0131 oldu\u011funu bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan anlayamazs\u0131n\u0131z. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onun g\u00f6zlerini \u0131slatan r\u00fczg\u00e2r, kalbine a\u011fmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ki, k\u00e2inat\u0131 tek ba\u015f\u0131na ke\u015ffedebilsin m\u00fcntehir.<\/p>\n
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\u0130ntihar an\u0131, m\u00fcthi\u015f bir pani\u011fin ruhta ve beyinde sessiz bir kas\u0131rga h\u00e2linde egemenli\u011fidir. D\u00fcn vah\u015fettir. Yar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck bir mezard\u0131r. G\u00fcn bir tabuttur g\u00fcya. Kurban edilmi\u015f cismin cenazesini ta\u015f\u0131r bu tabut. Asl\u0131nda yapay bir s\u00fck\u00fbt vard\u0131r. Yan\u0131lt\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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\u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcn hayattan istedi\u011fini g\u00f6kg\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcs\u00fc g\u00fcverciniyle \u0131\u015f\u0131kland\u0131ran kitaplar, \u015fefkatin ayak izinin hikmetin siluetine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerde m\u00fcntehiri aramaktad\u0131r. Da\u011f gibi ehramlar yapt\u0131ran adam\u0131 da, y\u00fczy\u0131llar boyu aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131r kitaplar. Kitaplar adamlar\u0131 bulmu\u015f, adamlar kitaplar\u0131 bulamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p \u00f6m\u00fcr a\u011fac\u0131na bakan m\u00fcntehir, oran\u0131n tek meyvesi olan cenazesiyle g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze gelir. Ruhu, eskimi\u015f yuvas\u0131ndan y\u0131ld\u0131zlarda gezmek i\u00e7in \u00e7\u0131kmaz, \u00e7\u0131kamaz. Zira \u00e2lemin kap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131, b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015fl\u0131k z\u0131rh\u0131na b\u00fcr\u00fcnerek sinsice kapatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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Akrebe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmenin yolu a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r, nefretle yutkunan yitiklerin \u00fcsl\u00fbbunda. Akrep intihar eder.<\/p>\n
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Her\u015feyden kesintisiz ve sonsuz olarak \u00fcmidin kesili\u015fi… \u00c7\u00f6z\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fl\u00fck… Bulamamak…<\/p>\n
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Hayat kimli\u011fi, r\u00fcyalar\u0131n zaman d\u00f6k\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc yaralam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Bunun sebebi, o kimli\u011fin nurunun, m\u00fcntehir taraf\u0131ndan yokluk zul\u00fcmat\u0131na yuvarlanmas\u0131d\u0131r. D\u00fcnyaya merhem olan ilham, sonsuz g\u00fcce dayanan \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck, \u00f6m\u00fcr dairesi geni\u015f olan kalp, hayal cihan\u0131n\u0131 ayd\u0131nl\u0131k bir kitaba d\u00f6nd\u00fcren yorum, bekas\u0131z emellerle zehirlenmi\u015ftir. Sayg\u0131, ruh, sevgi bitirilmi\u015ftir.<\/p>\n
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Seven ve sevilen \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, kopmu\u015ftur. Sahipsizlikten do\u011fan ac\u0131 bir h\u00fcz\u00fcn kaplam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r yery\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc. G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden ahbaps\u0131zl\u0131k yans\u0131maktad\u0131r sanki.<\/p>\n
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Her\u015fey d\u00fc\u015fmand\u0131r. Yabanc\u0131d\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn i\u00e7 yoksulluklar\u0131n u\u00e7urumu. \u0130nsan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, endi\u015fe b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
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A\u00e7\u0131k kap\u0131 yoktur. Cesaretin t\u00fcm ordular\u0131 yenilmi\u015ftir. Ses veren var; fakat onu duyan yok. \u00c7i\u00e7eklerini sunaca\u011f\u0131 kimse yok. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc semalar\u0131n m\u00e2ver\u00e2s\u0131na ula\u015fabilen dili, m\u00fcntehir kendi elleriyle barbarca yok etmi\u015ftir. Kendi \u0131\u015f\u0131k\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00fcvenen y\u0131ld\u0131z b\u00f6ce\u011fi gibi, deniz karanl\u0131klar\u0131nda yaln\u0131zd\u0131r ve feryat doludur. K\u00e2inat\u0131n iltifatl\u0131 ilgileri ona bir mektup gibi takdim edildi\u011fi h\u00e2lde, ya\u015famaktan yorulan \u015fark\u0131s\u0131 m\u00fclk\u00fcn anlam\u0131ndaki nak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr. G\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6mr\u00fc ancak bir g\u00fcn s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr. Ve g\u00fcl\u00fc bir g\u00fcn kendi bah\u00e7esinden kopar\u0131p atm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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\u0130\u015fte Kleist. \u0130\u015fte bunalan Van Gogh. \u0130\u015fte Stefan Zweig, Koestler, Yesenin, Artaud, Jack London, Atilla Jozsef, Gerard de Nerval, Hemingway, Mayakovski, Virginia Woolf, Walter Benjamin, Yukio Mi\u015fima ve daha niceleri. Hepsi de birer birer canlar\u0131na k\u0131yd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n
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Oysa ya\u015famak ger\u00e7ek bir yol g\u00f6sterici. \u00d6l\u00fcm, zaman\u0131 yolcular i\u00e7in bir menzil, menzilleri de yolcular i\u00e7in zaman olarak i\u015faretlemi\u015ftir. \u00d6ld\u00fcrmek ise, intihara nisbeten beyaz bir g\u00fcvercin masumlu\u011funda; u\u011frunda \u00f6l\u00fcnene g\u00f6re… \u0130nsanlar\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fckleri ya\u015famam\u0131\u015f m\u0131? Hayat b\u00fcy\u00fck bir yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015fark\u0131s\u0131 olabilir ancak; trajedisi de\u011fil.<\/p>\n
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30.01.2004 C\u0130DD\u00ce BUHRANLARI ta\u015f\u0131yan s\u00fcrekli karanl\u0131klarda s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin kalelerine s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacak cesareti yitiren; sevginin, \u015fefkatin, nefretin ve \u00f6fkenin yolunu \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtarak bu duygular\u0131 i\u00e7indeki yang\u0131na d\u00f6ken bir ruhun korkun\u00e7 meydanlardaki \u00e7aresizli\u011fidir intihar. Ceza korkusu ya da yanl\u0131\u015f korkular\u0131n cezas\u0131; b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar k\u00e2inat manzaralar\u0131n\u0131n hayat anlam\u0131n\u0131 u\u00e7urmu\u015ftur. M\u00fcntehirin verecek cevab\u0131 yoktur. \u00d6mer Hayyam\u2019\u0131n, Ebu\u2019l-A\u2019l\u00e2 el-Maarr\u00ee\u2019nin feryatlar\u0131, Werther\u2019in inleyi\u015fleri de […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[202],"class_list":["post-89971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n