17.12.2005<\/p>\n
\u0130\u00c7\u0130NDE \u00c7ALI \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131 dola\u015ft\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yormu\u015f gibi ya\u015faman\u0131n nas\u0131l bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu tahmin ediyorum. S\u0131z\u0131m s\u0131z\u0131m akan bir h\u00fczn\u00fcn, ac\u0131n\u0131n orta yerinde \u00e7\u0131plak ayakla kalman\u0131n derin yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131…<\/p>\n
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Bunu g\u00f6rmek ve ya\u015famak k\u00f6t\u00fcmserlikle izah edilemez. Hay\u0131r, k\u00f6t\u00fcmserlik ba\u015fka bir \u015fey; olup bitene anlam verememek, dolay\u0131s\u0131yla anlams\u0131zl\u0131k i\u00e7inde bo\u015flu\u011fa yuvarlanmakt\u0131r o. Oysa biz anlama sahibiz \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr. O var ve hi\u00e7bir \u015fey O’ndan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z de\u011fildir. Evet, O \u00f6yle diyor; \u015funun bunun omuz vermekten \u00e7ekindi\u011fi bir ‘hayat’a insan\u0131n hemencecik kabullenmesinden bahis a\u00e7\u0131yor. Hikmetle g\u00f6bekten ba\u011fl\u0131 bu kabulleni\u015fin nas\u0131l bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu ya\u015fayanlar bilir, b\u00fct\u00fcn do\u011fanlar de\u011fil, sahiden ya\u015fayanlar bilir. Kalbini diri tutan ve vicdanlar\u0131n\u0131 parlatanlar fark eder, o kadim kabulleni\u015fin ne b\u00fcy\u00fck bir i\u015f oldu\u011funu. Hem \u00e7ok isteyen hem de \u00e7ok aciz insan\u0131n trajikli\u011fini… Ancak ellerinin uzanabildi\u011fi alana h\u00fckmeden insan\u0131n sonsuzlu\u011fu arzulamas\u0131 trajik de\u011fil de nedir?<\/p>\n
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Evet, zor bir hayata yazg\u0131l\u0131y\u0131z. \u00dcstad Nursi\u2019nin tespitini hat\u0131rlayal\u0131m: ‘\u00d6l\u00fcm, m\u00fcmin i\u00e7in bir terhis belgesidir.’ En dip, en gizli kuytular\u0131na kadar hayat\u0131 hissetmemi\u015flerin ve bir \u015fekilde ‘askerlik’ denen \u015feyi bilmeyenlerin farketmekte zorlanacaklar\u0131 bir tespit bu. Askerlik ki, yirmi d\u00f6rt saatin kurallarla ya\u015fanmas\u0131d\u0131r. D\u00fc\u011fmenizi nas\u0131l ilikleyece\u011finiz, lavaboda neyi ne \u015fekilde yapman\u0131z, y\u00fcr\u00fcrken neye dikkat etmeniz, banyo saatleriniz, uyku aral\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131z, neredeyse kalp at\u0131\u015f saatleriniz tespit edilmi\u015ftir. G\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fcn en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck noktas\u0131nda dahi ‘\u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc’ olman\u0131z\u0131n, ona uyum g\u00f6stermek kayg\u0131s\u0131 i\u00e7inde ya\u015faman\u0131n nas\u0131l bir gerilim ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fayan bilir. \u0130nsan\u0131n i\u00e7 istekleriyle kendisini ku\u015fatan mek\u00e2n\u0131n dayatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fartlar aras\u0131nda \u00e7at\u0131\u015fma oldu mu, rahats\u0131zl\u0131k ve gerginlik ba\u015flar. \u0130\u00e7 ile d\u0131\u015f\u0131n \u00e7at\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerde kavga vard\u0131r; g\u00fcven duygusu al\u0131p ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 gider, kayg\u0131 gelir onun yerine. Kayg\u0131 ki, i\u00e7te dola\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lan \u00e7al\u0131 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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B\u00fcy\u00fck b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc, hayat \u00fczerine konu\u015fmalar olan felsefeye bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda \u00e7ok \u015fey s\u00f6yleniyor. \u00d6zellikle varolu\u015f\u00e7ular\u0131n kaz\u0131y\u0131p kaz\u0131y\u0131p ortaya \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131klar\u0131 \u015fey, bu durumdan u\u00e7 verir. Kendi okumalar\u0131mdan, dahas\u0131 kalbim ve zihnimle ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ser\u00fcvenimden, i\u00e7sel tarihimden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131m sonu\u00e7 \u015fu: insan olarak omuzlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ya da ya\u015famak durumunda b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u015fey zor bir \u015fey. Hayat hem k\u0131\u015fk\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 hem de ac\u0131t\u0131c\u0131… \u015euna inan\u0131r\u0131m: herkes insan olma imk\u00e2n\u0131yla do\u011far, ama herkes insan olarak \u00f6lmez. Ya da \u015f\u00f6yle; kimileri beraberinde ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131klar\u0131 insani tohumlar\u0131n (\u00f6zetle, ‘iyi’ ve ‘k\u00f6t\u00fc’) \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmas\u0131, kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmas\u0131 ve birliktelikleri i\u00e7inde ‘iyi’ olan\u0131 k\u00f6p\u00fcrtmek m\u00fccadelesini verir, i\u00e7indeki ‘k\u00f6t\u00fc’y\u00fc terbiye eder. B\u00f6yle ya\u015famakla da; \u00e7o\u011funlukla hazla soslanm\u0131\u015f arzunun k\u0131\u015fk\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131na kulak t\u0131kaman\u0131n dayan\u0131lmaz a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla omuzlar\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6ker. Bu \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lar, \u00f6zetle ‘d\u00fcnya’y\u0131 esas al\u0131r, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n kal\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 yan\u0131lsamas\u0131 \u00fczerinde kurumsalla\u015f\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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\u0130nsan\u0131z ve de isteriz! Do\u011fu\u2019nun da, Bat\u0131’n\u0131nda; buran\u0131n da, \u00f6tenin de sahibi elbette ki bizi b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle hazdan yoksun, co\u015fkudan mahrum bir hayata yazmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r; me\u015fru daire denen yerde insan\u0131 doyurabilecek \u015feyler vard\u0131r. Ancak biliyoruz ki insan\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fc doymaz, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc o ‘sonsuzlu\u011fa’ yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r, sonsuzu ister. Bunun i\u00e7in tatminsiz ve g\u00f6z\u00fc doymazd\u0131r. \u0130nsan ne yaps\u0131n, b\u00f6yledir biraz, b\u00f6yle yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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\u00c7\u00f6z\u00fcm m\u00fc?<\/p>\n
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Birinin \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc olmaz. En az\u0131ndan her zaman… Herkesin kendi ser\u00fcvenini ya\u015famas\u0131 en iyisi. Yolu ac\u0131ya varacaksa insan\u0131n, vars\u0131n. Bize sahici bir hayat\u0131 vermeyen, i\u00e7imizi adam ak\u0131ll\u0131 doldurmayan bir lay lay lom’un sonunda farkedece\u011fimiz \u015fey, koca bir hi\u00e7se, anlam\u0131 do\u011furan h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc ve a\u011f\u0131r bir hayat daha iyidir. Kalbimizin ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekmek en do\u011frusu. Bu ac\u0131lar\u0131, yalan \u015feylerle bast\u0131raca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za, onlar\u0131n diplerine, \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131klar\u0131 yere bakmal\u0131, varsa oralarda bir bo\u015fluk oralar\u0131 doldurma yoluna girmeliyiz.<\/p>\n
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B\u00f6ylesi a\u011f\u0131r bir hayat\u0131 ya\u015farken, onu bize dayan\u0131l\u0131r k\u0131lan \u015feyin ne olabilece\u011fi konusunu konu\u015fuyoruz. Kendimce \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc, ‘okuma’ya ka\u00e7makta buluyorum. En has insanlar\u0131n, kalplerine kadar inebilmi\u015f insanlar\u0131n hayatla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131nda neyi hissettiklerinden, hissedip neyi konu\u015ftuklar\u0131ndan, \u00fczerlerine gelen hayata kar\u015f\u0131 hangi s\u00f6z\u00fc s\u00f6ylediklerinden kendime dersler \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yorum. Kendi s\u0131\u011f\u0131na\u011f\u0131mda ya\u015famaya devam ediyorum. H\u00fczne dairim \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc buralara ait olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 biliyorum. Ait olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir yerde, buraya aitmi\u015fiz gibi ya\u015faman\u0131n yan\u0131lg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n yurdu bu yerde d\u00fc\u015fmemek tela\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7indeyim. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp kalkmalar i\u00e7inde, i\u00e7im ile d\u0131\u015f\u0131n aras\u0131nda ge\u00e7en kavgalarda az yarayla kurtulmaya bak\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n
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\u0130yi ki, ac\u0131lar\u0131m var diyorum, iyi ki hisseden bir kalbim var. Ya hi\u00e7 hissetmeseydim. En b\u00fcy\u00fck problemi; tuttu\u011fu tak\u0131m\u0131n \u015fampiyon olup olmamas\u0131, girece\u011fi s\u0131nav\u0131 ge\u00e7ip ge\u00e7memesi.. gibi durumlar olan biri olmak da vard\u0131 hesapta. Evet, insani ac\u0131lar\u0131m var. Ama b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n bir anlam\u0131 oldu\u011funu biliyorum. Ac\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131n da anlam\u0131 oldu\u011funu ve nihayette, mutlak k\u00f6t\u00fc diye bir \u015feyin olamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131… G\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7ine s\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131p kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan, bug\u00fcn can\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ac\u0131tan \u015feyin sonraki hayat\u0131m\u0131za neyi ta\u015f\u0131yaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyoruz. Bu bilmeyi\u015f bizi k\u00f6t\u00fcc\u00fcl k\u0131l\u0131yor. ‘Hayr’ ve ‘\u015fer’ \u00fczerindeki yorumlar\u0131m\u0131z, ‘g\u00fcn’\u00fcn ‘dar’l\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan epey nasipleniyor.<\/p>\n
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Oysa O var. Ve O var oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in anlam var. Ya\u015fananlara bir anlam buluyorsak, ya\u015fanan her neyse, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bizi bo\u015flukta b\u0131rakmayacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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17.12.2005 \u0130\u00c7\u0130NDE \u00c7ALI \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131 dola\u015ft\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yormu\u015f gibi ya\u015faman\u0131n nas\u0131l bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu tahmin ediyorum. S\u0131z\u0131m s\u0131z\u0131m akan bir h\u00fczn\u00fcn, ac\u0131n\u0131n orta yerinde \u00e7\u0131plak ayakla kalman\u0131n derin yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131… Bunu g\u00f6rmek ve ya\u015famak k\u00f6t\u00fcmserlikle izah edilemez. Hay\u0131r, k\u00f6t\u00fcmserlik ba\u015fka bir \u015fey; olup bitene anlam verememek, dolay\u0131s\u0131yla anlams\u0131zl\u0131k i\u00e7inde bo\u015flu\u011fa yuvarlanmakt\u0131r o. Oysa biz anlama sahibiz \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr. O […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[194],"class_list":["post-89875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n