31.12.2005<\/p>\n
N\u0130SAN AYINDA, g\u00f6zlere bir resmige\u00e7it heyecan\u0131 katan diri mevsime dair ne \u00e7ok \u015fiir ve deneme okudum. Eliot\u2019tan \u00f6d\u00fcn\u00e7 ald\u0131klar\u0131 tan\u0131mlamayla nisana, \u2018aylar\u0131n en zalimi\u2019 diyorlarsa da, iyimserlik yay\u0131yorlard\u0131. <\/p>\n
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Ve eyl\u00fcl… <\/p>\n
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Nisan\u2019dan sonra deneme ve \u015fiire en \u00e7ok konu olan ay… B\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015flerin sar\u0131dan k\u0131z\u0131la ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu ayda \u015fairleri h\u00fcz\u00fcn basar. Puslu \u015fehirlere d\u00fc\u015fen yapraklarla birlikte g\u00f6n\u00fcllerde hazan ya\u015fan\u0131r.<\/p>\n
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Nisan ve eyl\u00fcl, yaz\u0131l\u0131 metinlere renklerini ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in \u015fansl\u0131lar. Bir ay var ki, en az\u0131ndan bu iki ay kadar niye \u015fansl\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na hay\u0131flan\u0131r\u0131m. Eskiyen y\u0131l\u0131n \u00fczerine kapanan bir kap\u0131 olurken, ayn\u0131 zamanda insan\u0131 yeni bir y\u0131l\u0131n da kap\u0131s\u0131na b\u0131rakan Aral\u0131k ay\u0131 i\u00e7in, ni\u00e7in \u00e7ok az \u015fey yaz\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 anlam\u0131\u015f de\u011filim. <\/p>\n
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Aral\u0131k, yeni sat\u0131n ald\u0131klar\u0131 evin heyecan\u0131yla sarho\u015f sahipleri taraf\u0131ndan alelacele terk edilen eski bir evin muamelesini g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. \u0130nsan Aral\u0131k\u2019ta yeni y\u0131l\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 aralaman\u0131n heyecan\u0131yla o kadar me\u015fgul ki, hangi ayda oldu\u011funu bile hat\u0131rlamaz. Eprimi\u015f bir paltoyu \u00fczerinden s\u0131y\u0131r\u0131r gibi Aral\u0131k’tan kurtulmak ister insan; yeni bir libasa haz\u0131rlanan bedenin heyecan\u0131 i\u00e7inde onu bir k\u00f6\u015feye b\u0131rak\u0131r. <\/p>\n
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Cenazesinde \u015fenlikli bir kutlamay\u0131 vasiyet eden \u00f6l\u00fcmc\u00fcl bir hasta gibidir Aral\u0131k. G\u00fcle oynaya ve tatl\u0131 bir tela\u015f i\u00e7inde u\u011furlan\u0131yor. Eskiyen y\u0131l\u0131n, ka\u00e7 sayfa olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmedi\u011fimiz biyografimizden y\u0131rt\u0131lan bir sayfa oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden… Kopan sayfada ya\u015fanan onca hat\u0131ray\u0131 unutarak ve takvimde g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcveren yeni y\u0131l\u0131n \u00e7izilmemi\u015f beyaz sayfalar\u0131n\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za neyi \u00e7\u0131karaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmeden… <\/p>\n
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\u2018Eski\u2019den kopu\u015f ile \u2018yeni\u2019yle bulu\u015fma aras\u0131 bir yerde gibiyiz y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131nda, \u2018aral\u0131k\u2019ta ara bir yerde… \u2018Buharla sarmalanm\u0131\u015f mahzun bir tren gar\u0131 gibi y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131…\u2019 der Can D\u00fcndar. \u2018Her Aral\u0131k sonunda o gara gidip bekliyorsunuz… Kimi zaman d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc olmayan bir yolcuyu u\u011furlaman\u0131n h\u00fczn\u00fc, kimi zaman hasretle beklenen bir dostu kar\u015f\u0131laman\u0131n sevinciyle…\u2019<\/p>\n
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\u00c7ocuklu\u011fumun Aral\u0131k sonlar\u0131n\u0131, \u015famatayla ge\u00e7en y\u0131lba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Yeni bir y\u0131la girmi\u015f olman\u0131n ne\u015fesi, biraz daha b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f olman\u0131n gururu ve eskiyen y\u0131l\u0131n i\u00e7ine b\u0131rak\u0131lan \u00e7ocuk y\u00fczl\u00fc hat\u0131ralar geliyor akl\u0131ma… <\/p>\n
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Tabi geride kald\u0131 o y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131lar! <\/p>\n
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\u015eimdilerde g\u00f6zlerim, istasyona girmek \u00fczere olan trende olmakla birlikte, istasyondan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f yapan trenin vagonlar\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m izleri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. <\/p>\n
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Sesimi, kokumu, gen\u00e7li\u011fimi, hat\u0131ralar\u0131m\u0131… <\/p>\n
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Muzaffer Kale\u2019nin \u015fiirinde oldu\u011fu gibi: <\/p>\n
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|8G\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcyle bir tren ge\u00e7er insan\u0131n<\/p>\n
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K\u0131rk y\u0131ll\u0131k u\u00e7urumlar\u0131n\u0131n kenar\u0131ndan,<\/p>\n
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Boynumuzu raylara uzat\u0131r bakar\u0131z<\/p>\n
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Uzakla\u015fmakta olan gen\u00e7li\u011fimize.. |9<\/p>\n
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H\u00fcz\u00fcn bas\u0131yor beni. <\/p>\n
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Yeni trenin de, bir s\u00fcre sonra istasyondan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilerek ya\u015f\u0131yorum Aral\u0131k sonlar\u0131n\u0131…<\/p>\n
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Ve \u015fimdi bir kez daha Aral\u0131k ay\u0131n\u0131n sonlar\u0131nday\u0131z… <\/p>\n
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Yine o puslu istasyon… <\/p>\n
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U\u011furlamak \u00fczere oldu\u011fumuz y\u0131l\u0131n son vagonunda, yorgun giysilerden s\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bedenimizi, istasyona girmek \u00fczere olan yeni y\u0131l\u0131n getirece\u011fi giysilere haz\u0131rl\u0131yoruz.<\/p>\n
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\u00d6mr\u00fcm\u00fczden bir y\u0131l d\u00fc\u015fmek \u00fczere… <\/p>\n
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\u015eair, \u2018Vedalar, yitirdi anlam\u0131n\u0131 \/ araya doldu, beyaz bo\u015fluklar\u2019 diyor. <\/p>\n
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Vedalar\u0131m\u0131z \u015fairinkine benzemesin!…<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
31.12.2005 N\u0130SAN AYINDA, g\u00f6zlere bir resmige\u00e7it heyecan\u0131 katan diri mevsime dair ne \u00e7ok \u015fiir ve deneme okudum. Eliot\u2019tan \u00f6d\u00fcn\u00e7 ald\u0131klar\u0131 tan\u0131mlamayla nisana, \u2018aylar\u0131n en zalimi\u2019 diyorlarsa da, iyimserlik yay\u0131yorlard\u0131. Ve eyl\u00fcl… Nisan\u2019dan sonra deneme ve \u015fiire en \u00e7ok konu olan ay… B\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015flerin sar\u0131dan k\u0131z\u0131la ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu ayda \u015fairleri h\u00fcz\u00fcn basar. Puslu \u015fehirlere d\u00fc\u015fen yapraklarla […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[194],"class_list":["post-89873","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n