07.07.2012<\/p>\n
B\u0130R U\u00c7A\u011eIN kanad\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerinden yerde kalanlara, d\u00fcnyaya bak\u0131yorum. Ak\u015fam karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda s\u0131ra s\u0131ra \u0131\u015f\u0131klar, nokta kadar p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar, birbirine ba\u011fl\u0131 ip kadar ince yollar g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum..U\u00e7ak y\u00fckseliyor. Noktalar daha da k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcyor. \u0130nsan ise g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcden siliniyor. \u0130nsan\u0131n d\u00fcnya \u00fczerindeki g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc bu kadar k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck m\u00fc? Yukar\u0131dan bak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda evler, yollar, bah\u00e7e ve parklar d\u00fcnya \u00fczerine serpilmi\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 damlac\u0131klar gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor..\u0130nsan diyorum, d\u00fcnyaya ancak bu kadar \u015fey serpebilmi\u015f..U\u00e7ak yol al\u0131yor. \u015eehir merkezi geride kald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda yerler zifiri karanl\u0131\u011fa b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcyor. Buralara bir \u015feyler serpmemi\u015f insanlar..<\/p>\n
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\u0130nsanlar ne k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, ne aciz asl\u0131nda.Yer ve g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcn Rabbi ise ne b\u00fcy\u00fck. Ne kadar y\u00fcce. \u0130ki gece \u00f6nce Umre\u2019den d\u00f6nen annemin s\u00f6zleri geliyor akl\u0131ma: \u201cU\u00e7a\u011fa binip, bulutlar\u0131n i\u00e7indeki alemi g\u00f6ren bir g\u00f6z nas\u0131l olur da Allah\u2019a iman etmez?\u201d..Bu tema\u015fa ile kalbim ve g\u00f6zlerim doluyor. Bu can\u0131n bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ve aciz bedende emanet olu\u015funu hissediyorum..Ruhumu hissediyorum..Yarat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hissediyorum..Uzuvlar\u0131m\u0131 hissediyorum..H\u0131zlanm\u0131\u015f ritmiyle kalbimi hissediyorum..<\/p>\n
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T\u00fcm bo\u015fluklardan s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p Rahman\u2019a y\u00f6nelmek istiyorum. O\u2019nun hep benimle oldu\u011funu, benim ise s\u0131k s\u0131k unuttu\u011fumu, O\u2019ndan ayr\u0131ym\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 an\u0131ms\u0131yorum. Ne aciz kelimelerim ve hayat\u0131m \u015f\u00fck\u00fcrler sunmak i\u00e7in..Ne kadar kifayetsiz s\u00f6ylemeye g\u00fc\u00e7 yetiremedi\u011fim s\u00f6zlerim..<\/p>\n
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Ben rahmete muhtac\u0131m. O ise muhta\u00e7 oldu\u011fumdan fazlas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6nderiyor. Ben yeterince kul olam\u0131yorum, buna ra\u011fmen merhameti hi\u00e7 eksilmiyor. Sadece, yaln\u0131zca \u201cben\u201d g\u00f6rm\u00fcyorum, \u201cben\u201d anlam\u0131yorum..Anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m anlarda dahi onun rahmetinin enginli\u011fini bilmekten fersah fersah uza\u011f\u0131m. Ama O, bana \u015fah damar\u0131mdan da yak\u0131n. <\/p>\n
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Bo\u011faz\u0131mda ve y\u00fcre\u011fimde d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmleniyor \u015f\u00fck\u00fcrlerim..<\/p>\n
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Bombo\u015f hava k\u00fctleleri \u00fczerinden \u015fu u\u00e7a\u011f\u0131 kayd\u0131ran Rabbim, damarlar\u0131mdan da kan\u0131m\u0131 kayd\u0131r\u0131p y\u00fcre\u011fime pompalat\u0131yor. B\u00fct\u00fcn v\u00fccudumda yer alan ince ince \u00f6rg\u00fc \u00f6rg\u00fc sinir lifleri \u00fczerinden alg\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fct\u00fcyor.. T\u00fcm bedenimi emre amade minicik fabrikalar nispetinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor. <\/p>\n
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Bense yakalayabildi\u011fim his k\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n hen\u00fcz idrakinde zorlan\u0131yorum..<\/p>\n
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O, fark etmedi\u011fim, bilmedi\u011fim, hissetmedi\u011fim daha nice nimetini yolluyor da yolluyor. O Rahman, O Rahim ve Kerim..\u0130simlerinin tecellileri ne de g\u00fczel parl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
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Bu hislerle d\u00fcnyal\u0131k kayg\u0131 ve ihtimallerin buruklu\u011fu birbirine kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor..Etti\u011fim hatalar, etmedi\u011fim iyilikler..<\/p>\n
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Ne anlams\u0131zm\u0131\u015f kavga ve kayg\u0131lar\u0131m..Ruhumu anlams\u0131zca ne \u00e7ok y\u0131pratm\u0131\u015f\u0131m..\u015eimdi, \u015fehirlerin noktalara d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u015fu dakikalarda af ve tevbe diliyorum Rabbimden. Ar\u0131n\u0131p ba\u011f\u0131\u015flanma..Kat\u0131ndan \u201ckul\u201d olarak kabul talep ediyorum.<\/p>\n
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Ne olur niyaz\u0131m\u0131 kabul et Allah\u0131m. Ne olur kalbimi pak eyle..Makbul dualar yerle\u015ftir kalbime..G\u00f6kte bu u\u00e7a\u011f\u0131 tuttu\u011fun gibi, ruhumu do\u011fru yolda tut..<\/p>\n
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Ne olur, beni bana b\u0131rakma, beni Sen tut Allah\u0131m..<\/p>\n
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Yine g\u00f6klerdeyim..U\u00e7ak havalan\u0131rken, ak\u015fam ezan\u0131n\u0131 45 dakika ge\u00e7mi\u015fti..Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ortas\u0131nda koyu k\u0131z\u0131l ufuk \u00e7izgisini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bir sahnenin kapanmakta olan perdesi gibiydi. Yerde ise birbirini kesen \u0131\u015f\u0131ktan yollar vard\u0131. Yery\u00fcz\u00fc k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc yine ve g\u00f6klerin enginli\u011fi doldurmu\u015ftu g\u00f6zlerimi..<\/p>\n
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Tesbih etmeyi an\u0131msad\u0131m. Yerden sekiz y\u00fcz metre y\u00fckseklikte, g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcn orta yerinde s\u00fcz\u00fclerek giden bir k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kutudan Rabbime niyazda bulunmak istedim..<\/p>\n
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Yerle hi\u00e7 ba\u011flant\u0131s\u0131 olmayan bu ufak kanatl\u0131 kutunun i\u00e7inde kendimi son derece emniyette hissettim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc Rauf\u2019tur O, esirgeyen, M\u00e2lik-\u00fcl M\u00fclk\u2019t\u00fcr O, m\u00fclk\u00fcn sahibi..Havada as\u0131l\u0131 da kalsam, karada \u00e7ak\u0131l\u0131 da kalsam, bulutlar\u0131n alt\u0131nda da, \u00fcst\u00fcnde de olsam benim Rabbim O\u2019dur..O sadece bu yerin g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcn de\u011fil, t\u00fcm evrenin sahibidir.. D\u00fcnyay\u0131 bo\u015flukta tutup \u00e7evirmeye g\u00fcc\u00fc yeten Rabbim bizleri de yerden bunca y\u00fcksek mesafede, iki kanatl\u0131 bir kutu i\u00e7inde de emniyetle tutmaz m\u0131 hi\u00e7?…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
07.07.2012 B\u0130R U\u00c7A\u011eIN kanad\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerinden yerde kalanlara, d\u00fcnyaya bak\u0131yorum. Ak\u015fam karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda s\u0131ra s\u0131ra \u0131\u015f\u0131klar, nokta kadar p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar, birbirine ba\u011fl\u0131 ip kadar ince yollar g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum..U\u00e7ak y\u00fckseliyor. Noktalar daha da k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcyor. \u0130nsan ise g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcden siliniyor. \u0130nsan\u0131n d\u00fcnya \u00fczerindeki g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc bu kadar k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck m\u00fc? Yukar\u0131dan bak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda evler, yollar, bah\u00e7e ve parklar d\u00fcnya \u00fczerine serpilmi\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 damlac\u0131klar gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor..\u0130nsan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[166],"class_list":["post-88870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n