30.08.2006<\/p>\n
A\u0130LEDE KADIN erkek aras\u0131ndaki sadakat ve k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k nice zamand\u0131r (me)deniyet \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fck mal\u0131ysa namahrem kad\u0131n-erkek beraberli\u011fi de o derece istendi\u011fidir. <\/p>\n
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Bir\u00e7ok film e\u015fler aras\u0131ndaki k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011fa de\u011fer vermedi\u011fi, hatta ona dudak b\u00fckt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi e\u015flerin birbirini di\u011ferlerinden k\u0131skanmas\u0131n\u0131 da k\u00f6t\u00fcler. Televizyon dizileri \u00e7okluk k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00f6t\u00fc g\u00f6sterir. Senaryo \u00e7oklukla \u015f\u00f6yledir; g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fte k\u0131ska\u00e7l\u0131k uyand\u0131racak gayri me\u015fru bir olay vard\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn deliller e\u015fini veya sevdi\u011fini k\u0131skanan\u0131n lehinde iken, dizi k\u0131skanan\u0131n pi\u015fmanl\u0131k duyaca\u011f\u0131 bir sahne ile bitirilir. Hele k\u0131skanan ki\u015fi kap\u0131c\u0131, odac\u0131 veya k\u00f6yl\u00fc nevinden birisi ise do\u011fdu\u011funa pi\u015fman edilir. Bir\u00e7ok dizdeki k\u0131ssadan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lacak hisse \u015fudur; k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k iyi de\u011fildir, hep pi\u015fmanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 netice verir. Di\u011fer medya ara\u00e7lar\u0131nda ayn\u0131 ana fikir i\u015flenir; k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k k\u00f6t\u00fcd\u00fcr. <\/p>\n
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Namahrem kad\u0131n-erkek beraberli\u011fi de hemen her ortamda te\u015fvik g\u00f6r\u00fcr. Balolar, dansl\u0131 e\u011flenceler onun fikirde kalmay\u0131p uygulamal\u0131 olarak g\u00f6sterildi\u011fi mek\u00e2nlard\u0131r. Resm\u00ee erk\u00e2n\u0131n tertip etti\u011fi \u201ccumhuriyet\u201d s\u0131fatl\u0131 balolarda, ihtilat\u0131n ne kadar \u201cnormal\u201d, k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ne denli \u201czararl\u0131\u201d oldu\u011fu on y\u0131llard\u0131r g\u00f6sterilip durmu\u015ftur. <\/p>\n
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Bu yak\u0131nlarda, bir partinin kongresine kat\u0131l\u0131p da i\u00e7lerinden geldi\u011fi \u015fekilde ayr\u0131 oturan kad\u0131n ve erkek zevat, liderlerinin birilerinden f\u0131r\u00e7a yemesine sebep olmu\u015ftur. <\/p>\n
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Okullarda, \u00e7a\u011fda\u015f(!) uygarl\u0131k lokomotifinin ba\u015fka y\u00f6n tan\u0131maz vagonlar\u0131 olan baz\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmenler de beraberli\u011fi te\u015fvik eder, k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00f6t\u00fc g\u00f6stermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. Minnac\u0131k k\u0131z ve erkek \u00e7ocuklar ayn\u0131 s\u0131ralara oturtulur. <\/p>\n
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K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k kar\u015f\u0131t\u0131 ve kad\u0131n-erkek ihtilat\u0131 lehindeki bu kampanya son seksen y\u0131lda ivme kazanarak g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz kadar s\u00fcr\u00fcp gelmi\u015ftir. <\/p>\n
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B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlara ra\u011fmen, se\u00e7kin; en zekilerin, en ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131lar\u0131n zorlu s\u0131navlardan ge\u00e7erek al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir lisede, \u00e7a\u011fda\u015f uygarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n imalat hatalar\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131f\u0131ra inmesi umulan (!) bir e\u011fitim kurumunda bir delikanl\u0131n\u0131n arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k y\u00fcz\u00fcnden \u00f6ld\u00fcrmesi engellenemez. Sebebi bellidir; cinayeti i\u015fleyen \u00f6\u011frenci \u201cCihan\u2019\u0131 \u2018benim art\u0131\u011f\u0131mla \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor\u2019 s\u00f6z\u00fc i\u00e7in \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcm\u201d der. <\/p>\n
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Bu olay \u00fczerine, bir gazetenin, birer psikoloji allamesi (!) olan baz\u0131 okurlar\u0131 yorumlar d\u00f6\u015fenmi\u015fler. Kimi bu cinayeti h\u00fck\u00fcmetin yeterli \u201c\u00f6nlem\u201d almamas\u0131na ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f. Kimi de, \u2018tam da Avrupa Birli\u011fine girmeye haz\u0131rlan\u0131rken bu \u00e7a\u011fd\u0131\u015f\u0131 cinayet de i\u015flenir mi karde\u015fim, Avrupa\u2019da olsa bu t\u00fcr ilkellikler ya\u015fanmaz!\u2019 t\u00fcr\u00fcnden yorumlar yapm\u0131\u015flar. <\/p>\n
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Oysa i\u015fin asl\u0131 sand\u0131klar\u0131 gibi de\u011fil. Mesela, Avrupa Birli\u011fini biraz geriden takip eden, ama serbestlik ve demokraside tart\u0131\u015f\u0131lmaz birinci olan bir \u00fclkede, toplu ta\u015f\u0131m ara\u00e7lar\u0131na binenleri g\u00f6zlemliyorum: ta\u015f\u0131tta yeterli bo\u015f koltuk varsa, hemen hi\u00e7bir kad\u0131n\u0131n, yabanc\u0131 bir erke\u011fin yan\u0131nda oturmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. Bir han\u0131m\u0131n, yabanc\u0131 erke\u011fin yan\u0131na, ancak ba\u015fka bo\u015f yer yoksa oturdu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. <\/p>\n
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Ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde, insanlar\u0131n k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k duygular\u0131n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle k\u00f6reldi\u011fi san\u0131lan bu \u00fclkede, Samsun\u2019da i\u015flenen cinayetin akabinde gazetelere bakt\u0131m: burada da o t\u00fcr sebeplerden dolay\u0131 cinayetler i\u015flenmi\u015f oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bir gazete haberinin ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015f\u00f6yleydi: Love rivalry (A\u015fk rekabeti). <\/p>\n
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Bu minvalde, Risaledeki \u015fah bir c\u00fcmleyi \u2013 her c\u00fcmlesi kendi alan\u0131nda \u015faht\u0131r- hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Fazileti ink\u00e2r eden, e\u015fitlik\u00e7i s\u00f6zde cumhuriyet\u00e7ilere cevap sadedinde yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir c\u00fcmle bu: <\/p>\n
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\u201cHayat-\u0131 i\u00e7tim\u00e2iye-i be\u015feriyede [insanlar\u0131n sosyal hayat\u0131nda] bir \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131r a\u00e7an, e\u011fer k\u00e2inattaki kanun-u f\u0131trata muv\u00e2f\u0131k [uygun] hareket etmezse; hay\u0131rl\u0131 i\u015flerde ve terakkide muvaffak olamaz. B\u00fct\u00fcn hareketi \u015fer ve tahrip hesab\u0131na ge\u00e7er.\u201d <\/p>\n
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Bunun bir manas\u0131 \u015fuydu bence: <\/p>\n
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Bir meclis \u00e7o\u011funlu\u011fu cebren veya hileyle elde edilip, insanlar\u0131n yarat\u0131l\u0131\u015f ger\u00e7e\u011fine uymayan kanunlar ge\u00e7irilebilir. F\u0131trata uygun olan tesett\u00fcr yasaklanabilir, onunla kavgal\u0131 olan her t\u00fcrl\u00fc cins\u00ee sap\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 serbest b\u0131rakan d\u00fczenlemeler, \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rtkan bir tak\u0131m komitelerin yaygaras\u0131na uyularak y\u00fcr\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011fe konulabilir. <\/p>\n
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Ama bunlar, bu d\u00fczenlemeleri y\u00fcr\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011fe koyanlara hay\u0131r ve g\u00fczellik olarak de\u011fil; huzursuzluk, tatminsizlik sonucu \u00f6ld\u00fcrtenlerle mezarl\u0131klar\u0131n; canilerle hapishanelerin; uyu\u015fturucu ve i\u00e7ki illetiyle hastanelerin; gayri me\u015fru \u00e7ocuklarla yetim yuvalar\u0131n\u0131n dolmas\u0131 olarak d\u00f6necektir.<\/p>\n
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Yukar\u0131daki genel f\u0131trat kural\u0131 bahsini etti\u011fimiz konu i\u00e7in de ge\u00e7erlidir. \u0130nsan f\u0131trat\u0131n\u0131 yok sayarak namahrem kad\u0131n-erkek beraberli\u011fini te\u015fvik edip k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131 da g\u00f6rmezden gelirseniz hay\u0131rl\u0131 neticelere ula\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmaz. Hangi t\u00fcr ikna metodunu, ne t\u00fcr cebir yolunu uygularsak uygulayal\u0131m, insandaki birine ait olma duygusunu, malikiyet hissini ve bunun laz\u0131m\u0131 olan k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131 kald\u0131ramay\u0131z. Kald\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsak da hay\u0131rl\u0131 sonu\u00e7lara ula\u015famay\u0131z. <\/p>\n
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Tekrar okullar a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131yor. Samsun\u2019da ya\u015fanan, ama yaz tatili dolay\u0131s\u0131yla g\u00fcndemden d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcren tats\u0131z olaylar\u0131n yeniden ya\u015fanmas\u0131 elbette istenilmez. \u0130stenilmez, ancak, istenilmedi\u011fini fiilen g\u00f6stermek i\u00e7in hi\u00e7 olmazsa \u00f6zel okullarda olsun karma e\u011fitim tabusundan vazge\u00e7ilmesi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclmesi gerekmez mi? Yoksa, bir g\u00f6n\u00fcl dostumun dedi\u011fi gibi, \u2018yanl\u0131\u015f hesap f\u0131trattan d\u00f6ner\u2019. <\/p>\n
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30.08.2006 A\u0130LEDE KADIN erkek aras\u0131ndaki sadakat ve k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k nice zamand\u0131r (me)deniyet \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fck mal\u0131ysa namahrem kad\u0131n-erkek beraberli\u011fi de o derece istendi\u011fidir. Bir\u00e7ok film e\u015fler aras\u0131ndaki k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011fa de\u011fer vermedi\u011fi, hatta ona dudak b\u00fckt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi e\u015flerin birbirini di\u011ferlerinden k\u0131skanmas\u0131n\u0131 da k\u00f6t\u00fcler. Televizyon dizileri \u00e7okluk k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00f6t\u00fc g\u00f6sterir. Senaryo \u00e7oklukla \u015f\u00f6yledir; g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fte k\u0131ska\u00e7l\u0131k uyand\u0131racak gayri me\u015fru bir olay […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[154],"class_list":["post-88432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n