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MEVS\u0130M \u0130LKBAHAR… G\u00f6nl\u00fcne g\u00fcl de\u011fmi\u015flerin g\u00f6z\u00fcnde ilk defa bahar geliyor gibi. Varl\u0131\u011fa hayret borcunu \u00f6deyenlerin bak\u0131\u015f\u0131yla, bu bahar ilk bahar. Tekrar de\u011fil; ilk. Varolu\u015funu s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z minnettarl\u0131kla kar\u015f\u0131layan mahcuplar\u0131n bildi\u011fi \u00fczere, “Bir daha” de\u011fildir bahar; biricik, bir kerecik olu\u015ftur. \u0130nsan\u0131n kendisi “bir daha” de\u011fildir; parmak u\u00e7lar\u0131nca yeni, g\u00f6z diplerince orijinal, y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn ba\u015fkal\u0131\u011f\u0131nca yeni ba\u015ftan yarat\u0131lmaktad\u0131r. B\u00f6ylesine taze bir insan\u0131n tazecik g\u00f6zleri bahar\u0131 hi\u00e7 bayatlat\u0131r m\u0131? Olacak \u015fey de\u011fil!<\/p>\n
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Unutulmu\u015flar\u0131n hat\u0131rland\u0131\u011f\u0131 demdir bahar. Ayak alt\u0131na itilmi\u015f, g\u00f6zden uza\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f tohumlar\u0131n hat\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7i\u00e7ek \u00e7i\u00e7ek say\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr bahar. Kederin kozas\u0131n\u0131 y\u0131rt\u0131p umuda kanat a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnlere denk gelir bahar. <\/p>\n
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\u0130\u015fte o bahar. Yine de\u011fil yeni bahar. \u00c7i\u00e7ekler bir \u00fcmit tufan\u0131 gibi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6v\u00fcyor. Topra\u011f\u0131n karas\u0131na g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f hasretler taze \u00e7i\u00e7ek kokular\u0131yla dal u\u00e7lar\u0131na ta\u015fm\u0131\u015f tebess\u00fcmlerle geriye d\u00f6n\u00fcyor. Kelebek kanatlar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda bin dirili\u015f m\u00fcjdesi geziniyor. Yerden g\u00f6\u011fe do\u011fru sevin\u00e7 \u00fcveyikleri y\u00fckseliyor.<\/p>\n
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E\u011firdir G\u00f6l\u00fc’ne bakan yama\u00e7lar\u0131 bir garip ad\u0131ml\u0131yor. Bir ba\u015fka bak\u0131yor garip adam. Bakt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131rtan delici bak\u0131\u015flarla bak\u0131yor. Yeni \u00e7i\u00e7eklenmi\u015f badem a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda bir s\u0131rr\u0131n izini s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. \u00d6ks\u00fcz dallar\u0131n sevindirildi\u011fi bu bayramdan yeni bir bayram \u00e7\u0131karmaya niyetle. “Bo\u015f yere var etmedin Sen bunlar\u0131…” diyen kadir bilir bir nazar\u0131n sahibi. <\/p>\n
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Ad\u0131mlar\u0131 yava\u015fl\u0131yor. Bir \u00e7arp\u0131nt\u0131 ba\u015fl\u0131yor kalbinde. Uzaklarda, g\u00f6l\u00fcn mavisi hece hece ilmekleyece\u011fi sat\u0131rlara bir tatl\u0131 fon oluyor. “Yaz!” diyece\u011fini biliyor az sonra. Kalemin k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6pt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc o e\u015fsiz an\u0131 hep \u00f6zl\u00fcyor. Yeniden, yeni ba\u015ftan a\u011fz\u0131ndan d\u00f6k\u00fclen kelimelerin suskunlu\u011fun g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131 yaralar\u0131 hayal ediyor. Seviniyor. Bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla ok\u015fuyor dal u\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131. Ellerine \u00fcmit meyveleri dolduruyor dal u\u00e7lar\u0131ndan. Ta\u015fla\u015fm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6vdelerden, kemikle\u015ferek so\u011fumu\u015f k\u00f6klerden f\u0131\u015fk\u0131ran s\u00fcrpriz hayat p\u0131nar\u0131n\u0131 avu\u00e7luyor. A\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n kal\u0131n kabuklar\u0131ndan s\u0131cac\u0131k dokunu\u015flar al\u0131yor. Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kabu\u011funu \u00e7atlatacak, perdeleri y\u0131rtacak o e\u015fsiz an yakla\u015fmak \u00fczere.<\/p>\n
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\u0130\u00e7i i\u00e7ine s\u0131\u011fmaz oldu garip adam\u0131n. Bir sem\u00e2 ne\u015fesiyle f\u0131rlad\u0131 yerinden. Dudaklar\u0131na yery\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn g\u00f6kl\u00fc misafiri indi hece hece… “Fenzur il\u00e2 as\u00e2ri rahmetillah…” G\u00f6r\u00fcnenden g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeye a\u00e7\u0131lan perdeler hafif\u00e7e k\u0131p\u0131rdad\u0131. S\u00fbret’in ard\u0131ndaki nazl\u0131 \u2018hakikat’ g\u00f6z k\u0131rpmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Heyecanla s\u00f6ze dolad\u0131 nefesini. “Bak \u015fu Allah’\u0131n rahmetinin eserlerine…” Bu ilk bahard\u0131. Bir daha de\u011fil, tek bahard\u0131. \u00c7i\u00e7ek \u00e7i\u00e7ek s\u00f6yledikleri, topra\u011f\u0131n karas\u0131n\u0131 yararak hayk\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131, yama\u00e7lar\u0131 gelincik k\u0131z\u0131l\u0131na boyarken f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n c\u00fcmlesi bir insan duda\u011f\u0131na ta\u015facakt\u0131. \u00d6lm\u00fc\u015flerin dirili\u015fine tan\u0131k olan bahar, s\u00f6z\u00fcn potas\u0131nda bir daha yorumlanacakt\u0131, s\u00f6zlenecekti insan bak\u0131\u015f\u0131yla.<\/p>\n
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\u00c7i\u00e7eklerin kokusuna sar\u0131ld\u0131 o ince ruh. Ruh ile reyhan bulu\u015ftu, tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131, kayna\u015ft\u0131. Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kalbine dirili\u015f ta\u015f\u0131yan Kitab’\u0131n s\u00f6zleri yeniden yank\u0131land\u0131 badem \u00e7i\u00e7eklerinin y\u00fcz\u00fcnde: “\u015eimdi bak Allah’\u0131n rahmetinin eserlerine! Yery\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra nas\u0131l diriltiyor? \u015e\u00fcphe yok ki, O mutlaka \u00f6l\u00fcleri diriltir. Dahas\u0131, her \u015feye g\u00fcc\u00fc yetendir O!”<\/p>\n
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Acele edip k\u0131\u015fta gelmi\u015fti. Bu zemheriden bir bahar co\u015fkusu haz\u0131rlamas\u0131 gerekiyordu. Cennet as\u00e2 bahara giden patika yollar\u0131 kalbinde in\u015fa etmesi bekleniyordu. G\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fcn kervanlar\u0131n\u0131 o g\u00fcn Barla’n\u0131n yama\u00e7lar\u0131na s\u00fcrd\u00fc. K\u00f6r d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmleri a\u00e7acak berrak kelimeler edindi kendine. Sesi y\u00fckseldi. A\u011fa\u00e7lar aras\u0131nda dinlenmeye pek al\u0131\u015f\u0131k olunmayan s\u00f6zler tekrar tekrar s\u00f6ylendi: “fenzur il\u00e2 as\u00e2ri rahmetillahi keyfe yuhyil arda ba’de mevtih\u00e2….” Kibrit alev almak \u00fczereydi. So\u011fuk kederleri a\u011f\u0131rlayan bir g\u00f6n\u00fclde ate\u015f ha yand\u0131 ha yanacakt\u0131. Bir daldan bir ba\u015fka dala se\u011firtti. G\u00f6zlerinde hayret, g\u00f6nl\u00fcnde minnet. G\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne s\u0131\u011fm\u0131yor gibiydi kalbi. Elleri kalbinin \u00fczerinde. Ayaklar\u0131 dolan\u0131rcas\u0131na ko\u015ftu ko\u015ftu. Nefes nefese kald\u0131. Yoku\u015f yukar\u0131 bir p\u0131nar ak\u0131t\u0131r gibi, duda\u011f\u0131na bir daha bir daha dolad\u0131 kutlu s\u00f6zleri… “Bak, yery\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra nas\u0131l da diriltiyor…”<\/p>\n
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Ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131 g\u00f6zlerinden. Bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla Nisan menek\u015feleri a\u00e7t\u0131rd\u0131. Hayat\u0131n zembere\u011fi kelimelerin b\u00fcy\u00fcs\u00fcnde bir daha kuruldu. Vahyin s\u0131cac\u0131k dokunu\u015fu ba\u015fkalar\u0131na a\u011flayan kalbini ok\u015fad\u0131. Cennet gibi baharlar\u0131 haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 Hamza’lar, Saidler, Ahmedler, Mustafalar, Ay\u015feler, Fatmalar, R\u00fcmeysalar i\u00e7in ko\u015ftu eve… S\u00f6zler’le kurdu\u011fu ne\u015fe ota\u011f\u0131na, kelimelerin havuzuna ak\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131 o serin p\u0131nara, \u00e7ok sonralar\u0131 mahzunlar\u0131n ko\u015faca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u00fcmitleri elinden al\u0131nm\u0131\u015flar\u0131n varaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 biliyordu. Hi\u00e7 \u00fcmitsiz olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130man\u0131, biricik imk\u00e2n biliyordu. \u0130mk\u00e2ns\u0131zl\u0131klara meydan okudu. Okudu.<\/p>\n
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Zalimlerin unutulmaya terk etti\u011fi, gafillerin \u00f6l\u00fcme itti\u011fi o k\u00f6\u015fe ba\u015f\u0131nda, zalimleri \u0131slah edecek, gafilleri uyand\u0131racak bir ayd\u0131nl\u0131k ate\u015fi yakt\u0131. Kalem haz\u0131rland\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne ak\u015fam\u0131n h\u00fczn\u00fc bulanan k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t tarifsiz bir sevin\u00e7 i\u00e7indeydi. \u0130ktidar sahiplerinin hesaba katmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 adam, as\u0131l iktidar\u0131 ele ge\u00e7irmenin keyfiyle seslendi: “Yaz, karda\u015f\u0131m!” Silah \u015fak\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fc b\u00f6lemeyece\u011fini, “ebed\u00ee \u015feflik” kudretinin g\u00f6n\u00fclleri y\u0131kamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmeyen zavall\u0131lar, her kelimede bir kez daha y\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131. Kalemin ucu k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t \u00fczerinde tatl\u0131 bir g\u0131c\u0131rt\u0131yla gezinmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Bulu\u015fmalar\u0131n en tatl\u0131s\u0131, en k\u00e2rl\u0131s\u0131 s\u00fcrg\u00fcn\u00fcn darac\u0131k odas\u0131nda yeniden ya\u015fand\u0131.<\/p>\n
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Otuz y\u0131l sonra, zulm\u00fcn kasvetinin az da olsa da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnlerde, yine badem a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda y\u00fcr\u00fcyecekti garip adam. Yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa mahk\u00fbm ettiklerini sananlara inat, etraf\u0131nda p\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l gen\u00e7 y\u00fczlerle ad\u0131ml\u0131yor olacakt\u0131 Barla’n\u0131n yama\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131. Yine bahar olacakt\u0131. Yeni bahar olacakt\u0131. \u0130lk bahar olacakt\u0131. Badem a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131 ilk defa \u00e7i\u00e7ekleniyor olacakt\u0131. Delikanl\u0131lar da onun g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bakacakt\u0131 dal u\u00e7lar\u0131na. Cennet reyhanlar\u0131 dokunacakt\u0131 ruhlara…<\/p>\n
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Duraklayacak ve \u00fcmit dolu y\u00fczlere d\u00f6necekti. G\u00fcce kar\u015f\u0131 s\u00f6z\u00fcn zaferini imzalayan bir itminanla dudaklar\u0131na yine o ayeti dokunduracakt\u0131. Havada yank\u0131lanan sesi yorgun bedenini bir delikanl\u0131 gibi aya\u011fa kald\u0131racakt\u0131. Ebed\u00ee dirili\u015fi bir bahar somutlu\u011funda idrak edecek milyonlar\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fini avu\u00e7lar\u0131nda tutar gibi tane tane d\u00f6k\u00fclecekti s\u00f6zleri. Bir g\u00fcnden, sadece bir g\u00fcnden sonsuzluk haberi dev\u015firen bir habercinin s\u00fck\u00fbnetiyle seslenecekti. Kaybolup gider diye kendisini bu k\u00f6\u015feye s\u00fcrenlerin iktidarlar\u0131n\u0131n ellerinden gitti\u011fine, ihti\u015famlar\u0131n\u0131n yerle bir oldu\u011funa tan\u0131k olmu\u015f mahzun bir huzurla seslenecekti. <\/p>\n
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“Bundan otuz sene \u00f6nce ayn\u0131 bu mevsimde idi. \u015eu bah\u00e7elerde geziyordum. Badem a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n da \u00e7i\u00e7ek a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamand\u0131. Birden, “Fenzur il\u00e2 as\u00e2ri rahmetillah…” \u00e2yeti hat\u0131r\u0131ma geldi. Bu \u00e2yet o g\u00fcn bana a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Hem geziyordum, hem de ba\u011f\u0131ra ba\u011f\u0131ra bu \u00e2yeti okuyordum. O g\u00fcn k\u0131rk defa okudum. Geldik, ak\u015fam, \u015eaml\u0131 Haf\u0131z Tevfik’le Onuncu S\u00f6z’\u00fc telif eyledik. Yani, ben s\u00f6yledim, Haf\u0131z Tevfik yazd\u0131.”<\/p>\n
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\u00d6ld\u00fckten sonra dirilmeye dair, b\u00fct\u00fcn zamanlar\u0131n en canl\u0131, en renkli, en zarif metni o ak\u015fam k\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bulu\u015ftu k\u00e2\u011f\u0131tla: Ha\u015fir Risalesi<\/p>\n
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H\u00e2l\u00e2 daha, o ak\u015fam k\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n h\u00fczn\u00fcnde bin \u00fcmitler filizlendirmi\u015f o kalbin nab\u0131zlar\u0131 olarak duruyor sat\u0131rlarda. Her an yeniden \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131yor, yeniden sayfalara iniyor. Yeni baharlar gibi, her okundu\u011funda ilk defa \u00e7i\u00e7eklenen dal u\u00e7lar\u0131ndan ter\u00fctaze uzan\u0131yor ak\u0131llara.<\/p>\n
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Ha\u015fir Risalesi, “g\u00f6r\u00fcnen”i “g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen”e tan\u0131k ediyor. “D\u00fcnyal\u0131k varolu\u015f”un \u00f6z\u00fcndeki \u00e7eli\u015fkiyi ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yor. Bu onulmaz \u00e7eli\u015fkinin \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc olarak “b\u00fcy\u00fck mahkeme”ye i\u015faret ediyor. “E\u011fer hepsi bu”ysa, “sonras\u0131” yoksa, anlam\u0131n\u0131 kaybediyor varl\u0131k, tahamm\u00fcl edilmez bir \u00e7eli\u015fki yuma\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor. G\u00f6r\u00fcnen bunca denge, bildi\u011fimiz hesaplar\u0131 y\u0131rt\u0131p atan bunca ince ayar, e\u011fer zalim zalimli\u011fiyle \u00f6lecekse, \u00f6zensiz bir art\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor. E\u011fer mazlumun hakk\u0131 mazlumla birlikte topra\u011fa girecekse, varolu\u015f apa\u00e7\u0131k bir \u00e7arp\u0131kl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor. Her canl\u0131y\u0131 her an ok\u015fayan bunca merhamete tan\u0131kl\u0131k eden bu d\u00fcnya, ezenin de ezilenin de, canilerin de masumlar\u0131n da toprak olarak e\u015fitlendi\u011fi bir yere ak\u0131yorsa, bo\u015f yere var, bo\u015fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor demektir.<\/p>\n
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Denklemin “bu taraf\u0131nda” g\u00f6zlerden ka\u00e7mayan bir a\u00e7\u0131k var; \u00f6yleyse bir de “\u00f6b\u00fcr taraf” olmal\u0131… \u0130nsan vicdan\u0131n\u0131n arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 adalet duygusu bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc tatmin olmuyor “bu tarafta”, \u00f6yleyse bir de “\u00f6b\u00fcr taraf” vaadi olmal\u0131… Vicdanlar\u0131n sonras\u0131n\u0131 arad\u0131\u011f\u0131, kalplerin isyan etti\u011fi, g\u00f6zlerin dayanamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu korkun\u00e7 “e\u015fitsizlik” hi\u00e7 \u015f\u00fcphe yok ki, bir “Mahkeme-i K\u00fcbra”n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla giderilecektir.<\/p>\n
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“Hi\u00e7 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fcd\u00fcr ki” diye muhte\u015fem bir \u00f6zg\u00fcvenle ba\u015fl\u0131yor c\u00fcmlelerine Bedi\u00fczzaman Said Nurs\u00ee. “Ahiretin olmas\u0131na de\u011fil, olmamas\u0131na \u015fa\u015fmal\u0131yd\u0131n\u0131z as\u0131l” demeye getiriyor. <\/p>\n
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“Hi\u00e7 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fc ki, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 sonsuz bir itaatle \u00e7ekip \u00e7eviren b\u00f6ylesine muhte\u015fem bir saltanat\u0131n iyiler i\u00e7in \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00fc, k\u00f6t\u00fcler i\u00e7in cezas\u0131 olmas\u0131n. Burada yok h\u00fckm\u00fcndedir. Demek, ba\u015fka yerde \u00f6d\u00fcl de ceza da var olacakt\u0131r.”<\/p>\n
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Benim hi\u00e7 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m o g\u00fcn, zaten hi\u00e7 aranmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m o ak\u015fam benim i\u00e7in kalbini kanatm\u0131\u015f o s\u00fcrg\u00fcn\u00fcn diri sat\u0131rlar\u0131 var \u015fimdi \u00f6n\u00fcmde…<\/p>\n
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Ne zaman dokundursam g\u00f6zlerimi, “bir g\u00fcn ve sonsuzluk” diye ba\u015fl\u0131k koyuyorum kendimi ve sevdiklerimin hepsini i\u00e7inde buldu\u011fum o muhte\u015fem filme…<\/p>\n
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Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kabu\u011funu bir bahar s\u00fcrprizi olarak k\u0131r\u0131yor, ahretin filizini g\u00f6steriyor Ha\u015fir Risalesi…<\/p>\n
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28.08.2010 MEVS\u0130M \u0130LKBAHAR… G\u00f6nl\u00fcne g\u00fcl de\u011fmi\u015flerin g\u00f6z\u00fcnde ilk defa bahar geliyor gibi. Varl\u0131\u011fa hayret borcunu \u00f6deyenlerin bak\u0131\u015f\u0131yla, bu bahar ilk bahar. Tekrar de\u011fil; ilk. Varolu\u015funu s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z minnettarl\u0131kla kar\u015f\u0131layan mahcuplar\u0131n bildi\u011fi \u00fczere, “Bir daha” de\u011fildir bahar; biricik, bir kerecik olu\u015ftur. \u0130nsan\u0131n kendisi “bir daha” de\u011fildir; parmak u\u00e7lar\u0131nca yeni, g\u00f6z diplerince orijinal, y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn ba\u015fkal\u0131\u011f\u0131nca yeni ba\u015ftan yarat\u0131lmaktad\u0131r. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[144],"class_list":["post-87863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n