01.09.2010<\/p>\n
B\u0130R YERDE ac\u0131 bir olay oldu diyelim. Kula\u011f\u0131ma geldi. Nedense su\u00e7lu hissederim kendimi. Orada olsayd\u0131m, belki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir m\u00fcdahale ile, belki tatl\u0131 bir s\u00f6zle \u00f6nleyebilirdim olanlar\u0131. G\u00f6zleri yerlerinden f\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f, \u00f6fkesi akl\u0131n\u0131 yenmi\u015f, cinnet ge\u00e7iren bir adam\u0131n kendi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na ve kar\u0131s\u0131na do\u011frulttu\u011fu ate\u015f kusan silah\u0131 elinden alabilirdim mesel\u00e2. Alabildi\u011fim i\u00e7in de ertesi g\u00fcn\u00fcn gazetelerine kanl\u0131 bebe foto\u011fraflar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmazd\u0131. Ama her defas\u0131nda ge\u00e7 kal\u0131r\u0131m oraya. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Ge\u00e7 kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m yerler o kadar \u00e7ok ki…. Ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 emen so\u011fuk ve bo\u011fucu karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir h\u0131\u015f\u0131rt\u0131yla olsun y\u0131rtamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, \u0131s\u0131tamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00fcnler sonra \u00f6\u011frenirim mesel\u00e2. Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn g\u00fczelli\u011fiyle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc tuzaklarda kalbi uyu\u015fturucu ve \u015fehvetin kirli mahzenine hapsedilen, sonunda bedeni de kirletilip sarsak bir karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n koynunda \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcmeye terk edilen gen\u00e7 k\u0131zlar\u0131n g\u00f6zlerine umutlar ta\u015f\u0131yan m\u00fc\u015ffik bir a\u011fabey bak\u0131\u015f\u0131 kadar olsun ta\u015fm\u0131\u015f olmamak ne talihsiz bir ge\u00e7 kal\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Yeti\u015fmek istedi\u011fim o kadar \u00e7ok an var ki… Olabilseydi e\u011fer, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n sadece bir teti\u011fe basmak oldu\u011funu zanneden katilin parma\u011f\u0131na, kap\u0131 ard\u0131nda beklenen baban\u0131n gelmeyi\u015fiyle bitimsiz h\u00fcz\u00fcnlere bo\u011fulan, sonraki g\u00fcnlerde ve sonraki y\u0131llar\u0131n her g\u00fcn\u00fcnde, \u201cBabam ne zaman gelecek anne?\u201d diye her soru\u015funda y\u00fcrekleri yeni ba\u015ftan yakan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131ca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fdirirdim. \u00d6mr\u00fcn\u00fc telafi edilmez bir pi\u015fmanl\u0131kla ku\u015fatan ve film \u015feridi gibi geri almak isteyece\u011fi o anda \u201ckatil\u201din parma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tetikten \u00e7ekecek kadar olsun var olamamak ne ac\u0131 bir yokluk… <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Becerebilseydim e\u011fer, birbirlerine son s\u00f6zlerini s\u00f6yleyerek, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n minicik y\u00fcreklerini annenin ve baban\u0131n naylonla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, sevgi ve \u015fefkatin s\u0131\u011fla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 bo\u015fluklara savuran kar\u0131 kocalara, i\u00e7lerinde saklay\u0131p dillendiremedikleri, dillendirseler de birbirlerine duyuramad\u0131klar\u0131, duyurabilseler de i\u00e7tenli\u011fine inand\u0131ramayacaklar\u0131 o derin pi\u015fmanl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n foto\u011fraflar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermek isterdim. Bir \u00f6mr\u00fc heder eden o \u201cson s\u00f6z\u201dleri dudaklardan \u00e7\u0131kmak \u00fczereyken susturamamak ne tuhaf bir ge\u00e7 kalm\u0131\u015fl\u0131kt\u0131r… \u00c7ocuklu\u011funda g\u00f6rmedi\u011fi \u015fefkat y\u00fcz\u00fcnden, gen\u00e7li\u011finde tatmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 mutluluk y\u00fcz\u00fcnden, f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 bulunca d\u00fcnyay\u0131 kana bulayan, binlerce \u00e7ocu\u011fun tebess\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc yar\u0131da b\u0131rakan ac\u0131mas\u0131z diktat\u00f6rlerin \u00e7ocukluk g\u00fcnlerine yeti\u015fip sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015famak isterdim. S\u0131cak bir dokunu\u015fla, tatl\u0131 bir bak\u0131\u015fla kin ve nefreti besleyen o sinsi karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yok edebilecekken orada bulunamamak ne b\u00fcy\u00fck eksiklik. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Doland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 binlerce insan\u0131n umutlar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne kurdu\u011fu sofrada torununun sar\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u015fefkatle ok\u015fayan adam\u0131n g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne, hortumcuya kapt\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 paralar\u0131 yeniden kazanmak i\u00e7in savruldu\u011fu gurbette sar\u0131 sa\u00e7l\u0131 bebesinin \u201cagu\u201dlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6zleyen adam\u0131n kalbini koyabilmeyi isterdim. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Anl\u0131k bir k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131kla, \u201cSeni evlatl\u0131ktan sildim.\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fcyle kap\u0131 d\u0131\u015far\u0131 etti\u011fi o\u011flunun\/k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n yokluk ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kendine bile s\u00f6yleyemeyen, s\u00f6ylerse ay\u0131planaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sanan, ay\u0131plan\u0131r\u0131m zann\u0131yla kendi i\u00e7ine do\u011fru dilsizle\u015fip ta\u015fla\u015fan baba y\u00fcreklerinin k\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131lar\u0131na m\u00fc\u015ffik bir kulak olabilseydim, b\u00fct\u00fcn ge\u00e7 kalm\u0131\u015fl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 affettirebilirdim belki. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Demem o ki, hayat, her yerinden, hi\u00e7 sebepsiz k\u0131r\u0131labilir cam bir fanus gibi geni\u015fliyor avucumuzda. Zaman, her noktas\u0131ndan her y\u00f6ne sonsuz defa b\u00fck\u00fclebilir bir ip gibi dolan\u0131yor y\u00fcre\u011fimize. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
\u00d6ylesine ge\u00e7irdi\u011fimiz birka\u00e7 dakikada, ne \u00e7ok yerden eksik oluyor, ne \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli i\u015ften geri kal\u0131yoruz. S\u0131radan sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z birka\u00e7 saat i\u00e7inde, ne \u00e7ok mazlumdan y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc esirgiyor, ne \u00e7ok muhta\u00e7tan elimizi \u00e7ekiyoruz. \u00d6ylesine sustu\u011fumuz birka\u00e7 dakikada sesimizi ne \u00e7ok \u00e7aresizden sak\u0131n\u0131yoruz. Bo\u015f s\u00f6zle ge\u00e7irdi\u011fimiz nice \u201cbo\u015f\u201d saatlerde, s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc nice \u015fefkatli ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131n mayas\u0131 etmekten sak\u0131n\u0131yoruz. \u00d6ylesine uyuyup ge\u00e7irdi\u011fimiz nice gecelerde, ne kadar \u00e7ok ac\u0131ya, ne kadar derin sanc\u0131ya kapat\u0131yoruz kalplerimizi. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Diyece\u011fim o ki, sevgili zamane, hi\u00e7 de s\u0131radan de\u011fil hayat. Olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n yerlere, yeti\u015femedi\u011fin anlara, ge\u00e7 kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n olaylara bir bak! Oldu\u011fun yerlerde, yeti\u015fti\u011fin anlarda, katk\u0131da bulundu\u011fun olaylarda ne kadar ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc ve s\u0131rad\u0131\u015f\u0131 olabilece\u011fini fark edersin belki.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
01.09.2010 B\u0130R YERDE ac\u0131 bir olay oldu diyelim. Kula\u011f\u0131ma geldi. Nedense su\u00e7lu hissederim kendimi. Orada olsayd\u0131m, belki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir m\u00fcdahale ile, belki tatl\u0131 bir s\u00f6zle \u00f6nleyebilirdim olanlar\u0131. G\u00f6zleri yerlerinden f\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f, \u00f6fkesi akl\u0131n\u0131 yenmi\u015f, cinnet ge\u00e7iren bir adam\u0131n kendi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na ve kar\u0131s\u0131na do\u011frulttu\u011fu ate\u015f kusan silah\u0131 elinden alabilirdim mesel\u00e2. Alabildi\u011fim i\u00e7in de ertesi g\u00fcn\u00fcn gazetelerine kanl\u0131 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[144],"class_list":["post-87861","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n