07.09.2010<\/p>\n
B\u0130R \u0130\u011eNE oru\u00e7.. Beni bana dikiyor, yeniden dokuyorum insan olan yan\u0131m\u0131. Duda\u011f\u0131m\u0131 duda\u011f\u0131ma te\u011felliyor; yalan ve bo\u015f s\u00f6z\u00fc de\u011fdirmiyor nefesime. Bencilli\u011fimin yakalar\u0131ndan tutup c\u00f6mertli\u011fin d\u00fc\u011fmelerine ilikliyor beni; yeniden b\/ak\u0131t\u0131yor hi\u00e7li\u011fime, hi\u00e7likten geldi\u011fim ger\u00e7e\u011fine…<\/p>\n
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Bir m\u00fch\u00fcr oru\u00e7. Mekan\u0131n \u00fczerine kutlu bir vaktin h\u00fckm\u00fcn\u00fc bas\u0131yor, her k\u00f6\u015feyi kutsuyor, her \u015fehri K\u00e2be’nin ete\u011fine ta\u015f\u0131(r\u0131)yor. Mevsimlerden de ge\u00e7se, \u00f6mr\u00fcn farkl\u0131 y\u0131llar\u0131na da u\u011frasa, bizi bir sofran\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda bir bir \u00e7ocuk ediyor, kalplerimizi binbir \u00e7ocuk sevincine kilitliyor. Kalbimizi meleklerin bile g\u00f6remedi\u011fi, \u015feytan\u0131n bile bozamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez, o g\u00f6sterilmez, yaln\u0131zca O’na g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr sadr\u0131n i\u00e7ine koyuyor, sahtelikten \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p yeniden piyasaya s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. E\u015fyan\u0131n s\u0131radanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekip al\u0131yor elimizin alt\u0131ndan, yine ama yeni, eski ama taze lezzetlerle damgal\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
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Bir yoku\u015f oru\u00e7. \u015e\u00fckr\u00fcn \u0131rma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ak\u0131t\u0131yor \u00e7\u00f6lle\u015fmi\u015f tenimizin vadilerinden. Sabr\u0131n yoku\u015flar\u0131nda susat\u0131p suya kand\u0131r\u0131yor nank\u00f6rl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc yeniden.<\/p>\n
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Bir yoldur oru\u00e7. \u00c7\u0131kar\/\u00e7\u0131kmaz sokaklar\u0131n hepsini Mekke’ye \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yor. \u015eehrin kirlerini bir suskunluk avaz\u0131nda temizliyor. Yetim b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z umudumuzu, soka\u011fa terketti\u011fimiz merhametimizi yeniden eve al\u0131yor. Yola koyuyor i\u00e7imizin \u015fefkat kervanlar\u0131n\u0131. Kurakla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, \u00e7orakla\u015fm\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyan\u0131n g\u00f6be\u011finde, iftar saatlerinde serinledi\u011fimiz, iftar\u0131 bekleyerek sevindi\u011fimiz, b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015ferek sevindirdi\u011fimiz bir vahaya u\u011frat\u0131yor nefislerimizi.<\/p>\n
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Bir elbisedir oru\u00e7. Bizi ilk defa niyetimizle giyindiriyor. G\u00fcvendi\u011fimiz eylemlerimizi bir kenara b\u0131rakt\u0131r\u0131p, eylemsizli\u011fin, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey edememenin lo\u015f k\u00f6\u015felerine \u00e7ekiyor. S\u0131cak temas\u0131 kaybetti\u011fimiz vicdan\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n e\u015fi\u011fine yeniden \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor bizi. Bir ihram\u0131 giyer gibi, O’nu g\u00f6r\u00fcrcesine ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ihsan kuma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 at\u0131yoruz omuzlar\u0131m\u0131za. K\u0131y\u0131da k\u00f6\u015fede, kimsenin g\u00f6rmedi\u011fi yerlerde, g\u00f6zlerden uzakta da olsa, yaln\u0131z ve yaln\u0131z O’na tevecc\u00fch etmenin, yaln\u0131z ve yaln\u0131z O’ndan iltifat beklemenin esteti\u011fine b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcyoruz.<\/p>\n
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Bir kap\u0131 oru\u00e7. Bize a\u00e7\u0131lan. Sonsuz bir kabulleni\u015fin odas\u0131na do\u011fru e\u015fsiz bir a\u015final\u0131kla ayaklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 buyur eden ah\u015fap bir kap\u0131. Anam\u0131z\u0131n ek\u015fi ayran\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6zlercesine, babam\u0131z\u0131n \u015fefkatli bak\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 beklercesine, bir susaml\u0131 pidenin kokusunda erircesine, bir kutlu emre seve seve itaat edercesine masumiyetimizin evine yeniden ayak bast\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir kap\u0131. Bizden a\u00e7\u0131lan bir kap\u0131. Cimrili\u011fimizi s\u00fcrpriz bir merhametle diki\u015f yerlerinden y\u0131rtarak, biriktirdiklerimizi elimizin alt\u0131nda faydas\u0131z k\u0131larak kalbimizi ba\u015fkalar\u0131na do\u011fru aralayan..<\/p>\n
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Bir ya\u011fmur oru\u00e7. Sokaklara g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc insin diye. \u00c7ocukluklar\u0131n\u0131 yetim b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fcklerin de aln\u0131na \u00e7ocuk\u00e7a sevin\u00e7ler dokunsun diye. Da\u011flarca b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, kayalarca kat\u0131la\u015fm\u0131\u015f kalplerin aras\u0131ndan yeniden sular s\u0131zs\u0131n diye… \u0130\u00e7imizde \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz ac\u0131malar, k\u00fcllendirdi\u011fimiz merhametler bir damlan\u0131n dokunu\u015fuyla filizlensin, g\u00f6\u011fe a\u011fa\u00e7 a\u011fa\u00e7 a\u011fs\u0131n diye. Yetim ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fayan meyvelerle, kom\u015fuyu da hat\u0131rlayan \u00e7i\u00e7eklerle, eksildi\u011fimizi\/eskidi\u011fimizi a\u00e7\u0131k eden kokularla dal budak sals\u0131n diye…<\/p>\n
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Bir ta\u015ft\u0131r oru\u00e7. Yolumuzu kesen. H\u0131rslar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ayaklar\u0131na dolanan. Emellerimizin \u00f6n\u00fcne dikilen. Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za bir mezar ta\u015f\u0131 gibi dikilip toprak oldu\u011fumuzu hat\u0131rlatan. E\u015fyan\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc bizden \u00e7eviren bir so\u011fukluk, kat\u0131l\u0131k gibi a\u011f\u0131rla\u015fan. Hazz\u0131n kab\u0131n\u0131 dokunulmaz k\u0131lan bir duvar gibi y\u00fckselen. Kimi kat\u0131 kalpleri utand\u0131r\u0131rcas\u0131na, bir M\u00fbsa as\u00e2s\u0131 gibi dokunan. \u0130msakla, iftarla, ezanla sonsuz yumu\u015fayan, \u00e7atlayan, tozla\u015fan, a\u011flayan, a\u011flatan…<\/p>\n
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Bir toprakt\u0131r oru\u00e7. Bir saks\u0131l\u0131k toprak gibi pencere \u00f6n\u00fcnde. \u0130\u00e7inde hayallerin yeniden suland\u0131\u011f\u0131… Her k\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131nda \u00e7ocuk sevin\u00e7lerinin yeniden uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131… Bir o kadar tan\u0131d\u0131k, bir o kadar yeni… Kendince, keyfince bir mutluluk adas\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imizi bir saks\u0131l\u0131k toprak kadar olsun geni\u015f tuttu\u011fumuzun habercisi. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck sevin\u00e7ler g\u00f6lgesi….<\/p>\n
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Bir saklamba\u00e7 oyunu oru\u00e7. Kendimizi kendimizden gizler gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez bir niyetin k\u00f6\u015felerinde bekledi\u011fimiz. Bencilli\u011fimize sobelendi\u011fimiz. Sonsuza kadar sevab\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 sayd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ebemiz. Az pencereli yaln\u0131zl\u0131klar. \u015eehvetimizi sark\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kuyular. H\u0131rslar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 yat\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kuytular.<\/p>\n
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Bir oda oru\u00e7. Bir bir bulu\u015ftu\u011fumuz. Yeniden g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geldi\u011fimiz. D\u00f6rt duvar\u0131 sohbetle yeniden bulu\u015fturdu\u011fumuz. Sofran\u0131n beklentisinde, bir yudum suyun sesinde, bir s\u0131cak ekme\u011fin k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda kalbimizi yeniden sedirlere yat\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z. Ruhumuzu ba\u015f k\u00f6\u015feye buyur etti\u011fimiz.<\/p>\n
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Bir s\u0131z\u0131 oru\u00e7.. Tenin \u00e7atlaklar\u0131ndan s\u0131zan can ak\u0131\u015f\u0131. Bedenin yaralar\u0131ndan ta\u015fan kalp a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131. Ruhun tenden d\u0131\u015far\u0131 s\u0131zmas\u0131… Kabu\u011fun \u00e7atlamas\u0131… Tohumun uyanmas\u0131.<\/p>\n
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Bir d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f oru\u00e7. Yar’e verdi\u011fimiz s\u00f6ze d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f… Suskularca konu\u015fan. S\u00f6z verdi\u011fimiz Y\u00e2r’e d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f…\u00c7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klara sar\u0131lan.<\/p>\n
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07.09.2010 B\u0130R \u0130\u011eNE oru\u00e7.. Beni bana dikiyor, yeniden dokuyorum insan olan yan\u0131m\u0131. Duda\u011f\u0131m\u0131 duda\u011f\u0131ma te\u011felliyor; yalan ve bo\u015f s\u00f6z\u00fc de\u011fdirmiyor nefesime. Bencilli\u011fimin yakalar\u0131ndan tutup c\u00f6mertli\u011fin d\u00fc\u011fmelerine ilikliyor beni; yeniden b\/ak\u0131t\u0131yor hi\u00e7li\u011fime, hi\u00e7likten geldi\u011fim ger\u00e7e\u011fine… Bir m\u00fch\u00fcr oru\u00e7. Mekan\u0131n \u00fczerine kutlu bir vaktin h\u00fckm\u00fcn\u00fc bas\u0131yor, her k\u00f6\u015feyi kutsuyor, her \u015fehri K\u00e2be’nin ete\u011fine ta\u015f\u0131(r\u0131)yor. Mevsimlerden de ge\u00e7se, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[144],"class_list":["post-87858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n