26.12.2005<\/p>\n
NE HANIN vard\u0131, ne de hanedan\u0131n var. Ne karizman, ne de entelekt\u00fcel kimli\u011fin\u2026 Kay\u0131pt\u0131n kimilerince… Yaln\u0131zd\u0131n, yal\u0131nd\u0131n, ama y\u0131lg\u0131n de\u011fildin. <\/p>\n
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Sade ve sivildin\u2026 Senin en sevdi\u011fim y\u00f6n\u00fcn de bu\u2026 \u00dc\u00e7 devrin de\u011fi\u015fimini g\u00f6rd\u00fcn, elbiseni hi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015ftirmedin. \u0130simlerin ve resimlerin de\u011fi\u015fmesiyle hakikat de\u011fi\u015fmezdi, fakat senin duru\u015fun ve elbisen hakikatin de\u011fi\u015fmezli\u011finin resmiydi. <\/p>\n
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Tutars\u0131zl\u0131klar hi\u00e7 tutunamad\u0131 sende\u2026 \u201cZalimler i\u00e7in ya\u015fas\u0131n cehennem\u201d derken, hapishane penceresinden bakarken liseli gen\u00e7 k\u0131zlar\u0131n istikbali i\u00e7in a\u011flayabiliyordun. Rus kumandan\u0131na aya\u011fa kalkmazken, jandarman\u0131n dur demesine s\u00fck\u00fbnetle uyuyordun. <\/p>\n
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\u201cNamaz k\u0131lmayan haindir\u201din ard\u0131nda sonuna kadar duruyor, s\u00fcrg\u00fcnleri hapisleri g\u00f6ze alabiliyordun. G\u00f6z\u00fcnden ve \u00f6z\u00fcnden \u00f6l\u00fcm hi\u00e7 ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcyordu. Zevk zevzekli\u011finden ziyadesiyle uzak bir zahiddin\u2026<\/p>\n
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\u00c7ok inceydin\u2026 Kendi \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne g\u00fclerken, yelde savrulan kavak yapraklar\u0131na, \u00f6l\u00fcm ad\u0131na a\u011flayabiliyordun. Sinekler bile sende s\u00fck\u00fbnet buluyor, tahtakurular\u0131 hakikatinle hayatta kal\u0131yordu. <\/p>\n
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Sevgi ve \u015fefkat sinen etraf\u0131nda, ate\u015fe at\u0131lmaktan \u00e7ekinmeyen kelebekler gibiydi dostlar\u0131n\u2026 Davetine icabet edeni hi\u00e7 unutmad\u0131n, hi\u00e7 de utand\u0131rmad\u0131n. Sat\u0131lmad\u0131n, satmad\u0131n kimseyi\u2026<\/p>\n
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Herkesin hat\u0131r\u0131 vard\u0131 yan\u0131nda\u2026 Hat\u0131ralar\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131k\u00e7a hicap ediyoruz halimize\u2026 Halinle hallenseydik, hal-i \u00e2lem b\u00f6yle mi olurdu?<\/p>\n
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Casusu bildi\u011fin halde tecess\u00fcs etmiyor, k\u00f6pe\u011fin bile g\u0131ybetini ettirmiyordun. Sana zulmedene, belki hidayete gelir umuduyla, \u015fefkat elini uzat\u0131yordun. \u0130dam\u0131 reva g\u00f6renlere hakk\u0131n\u0131 helal ediyordun. <\/p>\n
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H\u00e2l\u00e2 anlayabilmi\u015f de\u011filim ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n iman\u0131n\u0131 kurtard\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, v\u00fccudun cehennemde yanarken g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fcn g\u00fcl g\u00fclistan olu\u015funu\u2026 Menfaat ad\u0131na bir k\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131 dahi g\u00f6nl\u00fcnde yer etmemi\u015f ki, cennet bile sevdan olmam\u0131\u015f\u2026 Yavan y\u00fcre\u011fim nas\u0131l anlas\u0131n?<\/p>\n
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S\u0131cak odalarda, rahat koltuklarda okudu\u011fum k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 kitaplar\u0131n hakikatiyle kalbim yansayd\u0131 belki bu kadar yavan ya\u015famazd\u0131m. Nurlarla da\u011flansayd\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fim, da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim ulvile\u015ferek y\u00fckselirdi.<\/p>\n
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Tefekk\u00fcr\u00fc terk etmedin, hayat ad\u0131na \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc hayk\u0131rd\u0131n hep, sab\u0131r sadr\u0131ndan d\u00f6k\u00fclen hamd damlar\u0131yla ubudiyet \u00e7i\u00e7ekleri a\u00e7t\u0131\u2026 \u00c7i\u00e7ek bah\u00e7esine d\u00f6nd\u00fc hapishane koridorlar\u0131. <\/p>\n
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Zehrin tesiriyle kendine geldi\u011finde g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131na bo\u011fulmu\u015ftun bir hapishanede ko\u011fu\u015funda. A\u011flay\u0131\u015f\u0131n ne kah\u0131rdan, ne de hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131ndand\u0131, ak\u015famki zikrini yapamamaktand\u0131. Zikrin lezzeti b\u00fct\u00fcn elemleri ve emelleri def ediyordu. <\/p>\n
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Sen ki yoklu\u011fa ermi\u015ftin, varlar seni nas\u0131l anlayabilirdi.<\/p>\n
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Seni anlat\u0131yor de\u011filim, olamam da\u2026 Anlay\u0131\u015fs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131ma anlay\u0131\u015f g\u00f6sterece\u011fini bilmem cesaretlendiriyor beni. Sana uzak olsam da yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 esirgemeyece\u011fini biliyorum. <\/p>\n
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Ham hayallerle hamla\u015fm\u0131\u015f hayatta kay\u0131yor olsam bile, \u015fefkat elini uzataca\u011f\u0131n \u00fcmidi dolu i\u00e7imde. \u0130\u00e7imi a\u00e7\u0131yorum sana, beni ay\u0131plamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131n rahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla s\u00f6yle\u015fiyorum. <\/p>\n
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Milyonlar\u0131 bulan ordunda bir nefer olarak cehalete, zarurete, ihtilafa sava\u015fmak istiyorum\u2026 Sanat, marifet, muhabbet silahlar\u0131yla\u2026 <\/p>\n
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Hanedan\u0131n yok ama milyonlar\u0131 bulan evlatlar\u0131n k\u0131talar\u0131 ku\u015fat\u0131yor. K\u00fcfr\u00fcn belini k\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131n himmetinle, talebelerin boynunu koparacak in\u015fallah. Yery\u00fcz\u00fc yeniden saadet asr\u0131n\u0131n kokusuyla nefeslenecek. <\/p>\n
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Nefeslerimizi nefislerimizin esaretinden kurtard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda k\u0131talar da kurtulacak. Ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn ard\u0131s\u0131ra ko\u015ftu\u011fumuzda k\u00e2inat da bizimle beraber ko\u015facak. <\/p>\n
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Ey yaln\u0131z adam, belki o zaman sana biraz olsun yakla\u015fm\u0131\u015f oluruz.<\/p>\n
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\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
26.12.2005 NE HANIN vard\u0131, ne de hanedan\u0131n var. Ne karizman, ne de entelekt\u00fcel kimli\u011fin\u2026 Kay\u0131pt\u0131n kimilerince… Yaln\u0131zd\u0131n, yal\u0131nd\u0131n, ama y\u0131lg\u0131n de\u011fildin. Sade ve sivildin\u2026 Senin en sevdi\u011fim y\u00f6n\u00fcn de bu\u2026 \u00dc\u00e7 devrin de\u011fi\u015fimini g\u00f6rd\u00fcn, elbiseni hi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015ftirmedin. \u0130simlerin ve resimlerin de\u011fi\u015fmesiyle hakikat de\u011fi\u015fmezdi, fakat senin duru\u015fun ve elbisen hakikatin de\u011fi\u015fmezli\u011finin resmiydi. Tutars\u0131zl\u0131klar hi\u00e7 tutunamad\u0131 sende\u2026 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[138],"class_list":["post-85567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n