28.12.2003<\/p>\n
\u00c7OK K\u00dc\u00c7\u00dcK YA\u015eTAN BER\u0130, HEP Allah\u2019a inanm\u0131\u015f\u0131md\u0131r. Ailem dindar de\u011fildi, ama bir d\u00f6nem i\u00e7in annem her gece yata\u011f\u0131n kenar\u0131nda biz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 i\u00e7in dua ederdi. O zamandan beri Allah\u2019\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hayat\u0131n bir ger\u00e7e\u011fi olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmd\u00fcr ve benim i\u00e7in as\u0131l mesele Allah\u2019\u0131n r\u0131zas\u0131na g\u00f6re nas\u0131l ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bulmak olmu\u015ftur\u00f3t\u00e2 ki, cennete girmeme m\u00fcsaade edilsin.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
A\u015fa\u011f\u0131-yukar\u0131 oniki ya\u015f\u0131ndayken, Kitab-\u0131 Mukaddes\u2019i incelemeye, bana yol g\u00f6sterecek bir\u015feyler aramaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Fakat, Kitab-\u0131 Mukaddes beni sarmad\u0131. Zira, Allah\u2019a atfedilen bu s\u00f6zler bana Allah\u2019\u0131n yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissettiremedi. H\u0131ristiyanl\u0131k hakk\u0131nda daha fazla kitap okuduk\u00e7a, kafam\u0131n daha fazla kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissediyordum. Din anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131m, Kilisenin \u00f6nemli \u00f6\u011fretilerini desteklemiyordu. Hepsinden \u00f6nemlisi, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde b\u00fcy\u00fcyen bir Tanr\u0131 yahut insanlar\u0131n selamete ermesi i\u00e7in kendi \u2018o\u011flu\u2019nun \u00f6lmesine izin veren bir Tanr\u0131 fikrini kabul edemedim.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
\u2018Ol!\u2019 denilen ve olan bir Tanr\u0131; b\u00f6yle bir Tanr\u0131 diledi\u011fi \u015feyi nas\u0131l yapard\u0131 ki? Mesel\u00e2, kendi ba\u015f\u0131na, insanlar\u0131n g\u00fcnahlar\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flayabilir miydi? Hay\u0131r; \u0130sa Allah\u2019\u0131n ir\u015fad\u0131 ve kendisine ilham etti\u011fi ilim ile gelen bilge bir insandan \u00f6tesi olamazd\u0131, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc Allah bir insan s\u00fbretini alamazd\u0131. Hem niye Havva\u2019n\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyden dolay\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn insanlar g\u00fcnahk\u00e2r do\u011fmu\u015f oluyorlard\u0131? Teslisin anlam\u0131 neydi? \u0130nsanlar taraf\u0131ndan yaz\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 apa\u00e7\u0131k ortada oldu\u011fu halde, Kitab-\u0131 Mukaddes\u2019e nas\u0131l Allah Kelam\u0131 diyebilirdi insan?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Onyedi ya\u015f\u0131ndayken, bir H\u0131ristiyan okuluna gitmek \u00fczere evden ayr\u0131ld\u0131m. H\u0131ristiyanlarla kalman\u0131n belki de dini daha iyi anlamama yard\u0131mc\u0131 olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Okulda, arkada\u015fl\u0131klar\u0131, alkol\u00fcn hi\u00e7 kullan\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 partiler, birbirinin derdiyle dertlenmeleri ve de ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fcleri ho\u015fuma da gitti. Onlara \u015f\u00fcphelerimden s\u00f6z a\u00e7t\u0131m. Bana, bu i\u015fin elimden kabul etmekten ba\u015fka bir\u015feyin gelmeyece\u011fi ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc bir s\u0131rr\u0131n bir par\u00e7as\u0131 oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylediler. Bunun tamamen bir inan\u00e7 meselesi oldu\u011funu, benim i\u00e7in can\u0131n\u0131 veren \u0130sa\u2019ya olan inanc\u0131m\u0131 korumam gerekti\u011fini, ve b\u00f6ylece selamete erece\u011fimi anlatt\u0131lar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Fakat, bu izah\u0131 hem mant\u0131k d\u0131\u015f\u0131, hem de adaletsiz buldum. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n d\u00f6rt bir yan\u0131ndaki, \u00e7arm\u0131ha germe diye bir\u015feyden asla haberdar olmam\u0131\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcn o do\u011fru ve imanl\u0131 insanlar\u0131n inan\u00e7lar\u0131 ve amelleri ne diye i\u015fe yaramas\u0131nd\u0131 ki? B\u00fct\u00fcn kalbimle O\u2019na inanay\u0131m da, bu v\u00e2k\u0131aya ra\u011fmen Allah benim inanc\u0131m\u0131 ve amellerimi reddetsin? Hay\u0131r; bu, Hakikat olamazd\u0131.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Bir y\u0131l sonra, k\u00f6ken itibar\u0131yla M\u00fcsl\u00fcman olan biriyle evlendim. Din\u00ee a\u00e7\u0131dan, s\u0131f\u0131r noktas\u0131ndayd\u0131m. Bildi\u011fim yeg\u00e2ne \u015fey, Allah\u2019a inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m idi. Bundan ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bilmiyordum. Kocam\u0131n arkada\u015flar\u0131ndan bir k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131n Norve\u00e7li ama \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019\u0131 se\u00e7mi\u015f olan han\u0131mlar\u0131 vard\u0131. \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019\u0131 benimseyen bir Bat\u0131l\u0131 kad\u0131n; bu fikir beni provoke etti. Sabah\u0131n erken saatlerine kadar dine dair m\u00fczakerede bulunduk, ama ben \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019a h\u00e2l\u00e2 \u015f\u00fcpheci (septik) bir nazarla bak\u0131yordum. Onlar ise, gerek biraz Arap\u00e7a \u00f6\u011frenmek, gerek \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019a dair daha fazla \u015fey \u00f6\u011frenmek i\u00e7in camide kendilerine kat\u0131lmaya \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar. Arap\u00e7a \u00f6\u011frenmeye niyetlendim; ki, daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 bir camiye filan gitmi\u015f de\u011fildim, bu sayede camiye de gidip g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f oldum. Camide, duygusal ve \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bir tecr\u00fcbe ya\u015fad\u0131m!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Caminin giri\u015finde, i\u00e7eri girmek i\u00e7in \u00f6rt\u00fcn\u00fcp aynan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc vaziyette kendimi seyredi\u015fim h\u00e2l\u00e2 hat\u0131r\u0131mda. Bu g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fc, bana \u00f6ylesine g\u00fczel gelmi\u015fti ki\u00d6 M\u00fcsl\u00fcmanlar\u0131 namaz k\u0131larlarken seyredi\u015fimi hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Onlar Allah i\u00e7in secdeye kapan\u0131rlarken onlara kat\u0131labilmeyi \u00e7ok istemi\u015ftim. Kar\u015f\u0131 konulmaz bir Allah\u2019a teslimiyet duygusu doldurmu\u015ftu i\u00e7imi. Nas\u0131l ibadet edece\u011fimi bilmiyordum; i\u00e7in i\u00e7in bu halime a\u011flad\u0131m. Kur\u2019\u00e2n\u2019\u0131n \u0130ngilizce terc\u00fcmesini sat\u0131n ald\u0131m ve onu okumaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131mda Allah\u2019\u0131n sesini duyabiliyor oldu\u011fum hissine kap\u0131ld\u0131m: S\u00f6zler kalbimi sars\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Herkes beni \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019\u0131 benimseme noktas\u0131nda uyard\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde, bunun tam anlam\u0131yla duygusal bir\u015fey oldu\u011funu farkettim. \u0130sl\u00e2m hakk\u0131nda daha fazla bilgi sahibi olma ihtiyac\u0131 hissettim; b\u00f6ylece, sonraki yedi ay\u0131m\u0131 \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019\u0131 okuyup incelemekle ge\u00e7irdim. Ne ki, yaln\u0131zca \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019\u0131n benim din telakkimle ve Allah anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131mla \u00f6rt\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc ke\u015ffetmek i\u00e7in.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Sonra, 1988 y\u0131l\u0131n\u0131n May\u0131s\u2019\u0131nda tatil i\u00e7in Yunanistan\u2019a gittim. M\u00fckemmel bir tatildi bu; olabildi\u011fince \u00e7ok g\u00fcne\u015f banyosu, y\u00fczme, g\u00fczel yiyecek ve i\u00e7ecekler, bir s\u00fcr\u00fc ho\u015f insan, vesaire. Hepsi ho\u015fuma gitti; en az\u0131ndan ilk hafta boyu. Fakat g\u00fcn ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e, ayn\u0131 \u015feyler gitgide can\u0131m\u0131 s\u0131kar oldu. Hepsi de anlams\u0131z ve bo\u015f g\u00f6z\u00fckmeye ba\u015flad\u0131lar. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131 ve hayat boyu pe\u015fine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fckleri \u015fey niye i\u00e7ilecek g\u00fczel \u015feyler edinmek olsundu ki? Niye insanlar, ben evli oldu\u011fum ve belki kendileri de evli oldu\u011fu halde, bana h\u00fcrmet g\u00f6stermiyorlard\u0131?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Karar\u0131m\u0131 verdi\u011fimde, y\u00fczme havuzundayd\u0131m. Bu kadar\u0131 yeterdi! \u0130sl\u00e2m\u2019\u0131 benimsemek \u00fczere eve gitmek istiyordum!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
\u00dc\u00e7 hafta sonra namaz k\u0131lmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m ve o zamandan beri karar\u0131mdan asla pi\u015fmanl\u0131k duymad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Bugun\u00f3bu yaz\u0131 vesilesiyle\u00f3Allah\u2019\u0131n bana bah\u015fetti\u011fi l\u00fctuf ve rahmeti tekrar hat\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f olmaktan dolay\u0131 \u00e7ok mutluyum.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
Ve aleyk\u00fcm selam!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
\/kitap.asp?book=15<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
28.12.2003 \u00c7OK K\u00dc\u00c7\u00dcK YA\u015eTAN BER\u0130, HEP Allah\u2019a inanm\u0131\u015f\u0131md\u0131r. Ailem dindar de\u011fildi, ama bir d\u00f6nem i\u00e7in annem her gece yata\u011f\u0131n kenar\u0131nda biz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 i\u00e7in dua ederdi. O zamandan beri Allah\u2019\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hayat\u0131n bir ger\u00e7e\u011fi olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmd\u00fcr ve benim i\u00e7in as\u0131l mesele Allah\u2019\u0131n r\u0131zas\u0131na g\u00f6re nas\u0131l ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bulmak olmu\u015ftur\u00f3t\u00e2 ki, cennete girmeme m\u00fcsaade edilsin. A\u015fa\u011f\u0131-yukar\u0131 oniki ya\u015f\u0131ndayken, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[132],"class_list":["post-83675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n