10.05.2004<\/p>\n
GE\u00c7ENLERDE B\u0130R S\u00dcRAH\u0130 KIRDIM. Masaya otururken, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hayal meyal hissetmem ile \u00e7arpmam bir oldu ve ard\u0131ndan k\u0131sa bir \u015fang\u0131rt\u0131 yank\u0131land\u0131. Bana, kala kala, par\u00e7alar\u0131 toplamak kald\u0131.<\/p>\n
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Bu arada, s\u00fcrahiyle kalmay\u0131p, han\u0131m\u0131n kalbini de k\u0131rd\u0131m. Biraz daha \u00f6teye koyamaz m\u0131yd\u0131? Oysa, s\u00fcrahi her zaman durdu\u011fu yerdeydi.<\/p>\n
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\u0130lk \u015fokun ve o \u015fokla gelen fevr\u00ee tepkilerin ard\u0131ndan, i\u00e7in i\u00e7in yat\u0131\u015fmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u00c7ocukken, bir\u015fey k\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, teselli eder, “Cam k\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131n, can k\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131n” derdi babam. \u00c7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr, can k\u0131r\u0131lmad\u0131. Ama itiraf edeyim, hayli s\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131m.<\/p>\n
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\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, bu sonuncuydu, ama ilk de\u011fildi. Bir hafta \u00f6nce bir bardak k\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bir di\u011feri elimden atlam\u0131\u015f, l\u00e2kin k\u0131r\u0131lmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u0130ki ay \u00f6nce, sevdi\u011fim birinin hediyesi olan fincan\u0131m\u0131, ondan da \u00f6nce han\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi minik tuzlu\u011fu k\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Araya girip, “Bir de tabak” diye ekledi han\u0131m.<\/p>\n
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Asl\u0131nda, onun hesab\u0131 da kabar\u0131k say\u0131l\u0131r. \u0130yisi mi tek tek saymayay\u0131m. Uzun s\u00f6z\u00fcn k\u0131sas\u0131, cam karnemiz \u2018k\u0131r\u0131k\u2019 dolu.<\/p>\n
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Yanl\u0131\u015f anla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131n, ne ben sakar\u0131m, ne de han\u0131m. Hatta, a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 dikkatli oldu\u011fumuz bile s\u00f6ylenebilir. Belki o y\u00fczden \u00e7ok cam k\u0131r\u0131yoruz, kimbilir? G\u00f6ze gelmi\u015f olabilir miyiz derseniz, pek sanm\u0131yoruz. Ama her ay mutfa\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan bir\u015feyler eksiliyor.<\/p>\n
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Bu kadar vukuattan sonra, k\u0131r\u0131lmaya bir \u2018sebep\u2019 ar\u0131yor insan. En k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir sine\u011fin kanad\u0131 ve v\u0131z\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 bo\u015f yere yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f de\u011filken, en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck b\u00f6cek bile \u2018Unutma ki d\u00fcnya fani\u2019 mesaj\u0131yla g\u00f6\u00e7erken, o kadar cam e\u015fyan\u0131n \u015fang\u0131r-\u015fungur gidi\u015finde bir sebep ar\u0131yor, mesaj ar\u0131yor. \u2018\u015eans\u2019 da de\u011fil bu; \u00f6yle bir\u015fey yok \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Tesad\u00fcfe de tesad\u00fcf edilmiyor. Sakar say\u0131lmay\u0131z zaten. G\u00f6ze de gelmedik. Deprem oldu, ev salland\u0131, d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcler de de\u011fil. O halde?<\/p>\n
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Kafam\u0131 bu hususun kurcalad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir g\u00fcn, ba\u015fka bir niyetle \u015eualar\u2019a bak\u0131yordum. Derken, ummad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir yerde, kar\u015f\u0131ma bir \u015fua \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131; ve t\u0131pk\u0131 r\u00f6ntgen \u015fua\u0131 gibi, i\u00e7imi okuyup \u00e7\u00f6zd\u00fc:<\/p>\n
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“Sobam\u0131n ve Feyzi\u2019lerin ve Sabri ve H\u00fcsrev\u2019in iki su bardaklar\u0131 parampar\u00e7a olmas\u0131, deh\u015fetli bir musibeti haber vermi\u015ftiler…”<\/p>\n
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Bu c\u00fcmle ile ba\u015flayan mektup, hani o bildik \u2018musibet\u2019lerden birini anlat\u0131yor de\u011fildi. Ne deprem vard\u0131, ne sel bask\u0131n\u0131, ne de veba salg\u0131n\u0131. Bedi\u00fczzaman\u2019\u0131n bir talebesi, kusur gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnen bir fiil irade etmi\u015f; di\u011fer ikisi o kusura bak\u0131p g\u00fccenmi\u015fti. Sonu\u00e7, \u2018tesan\u00fcd\u00fcn kayb\u0131\u2019 idi. \u2018Deh\u015fetli bir musibet\u2019ten kas\u0131t da buydu: \u2018tesan\u00fcd\u00fc kaybetmek,\u2019 \u2018birbirinin kusuruna bakmak,\u2019 \u2018g\u00fccenmek.\u2019 Bir barda\u011f\u0131n, bir soban\u0131n bile ilah\u00ee emre uyarak mesaj ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnen Said Nurs\u00ee, devamla, beni ta y\u00fcre\u011fimden yakalayacakt\u0131:<\/p>\n
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“Hem sobam, hem hayal\u00ee ayn-\u0131 hakikat m\u00fc\u015fahedem do\u011fru haber vermi\u015fler. Sak\u0131n, sak\u0131n, sak\u0131n! \u00c7abuk bu \u015fimdiye kadar demir gibi kuvvetli tesan\u00fcd\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc tamir ediniz. Vallahi bu hadisenin bizim hapse girmemizden daha ziyade Kur\u2019\u00e2n ve iman hizmetimize zarar vermek ihtimali kavidir.”<\/p>\n
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Okuduk, sars\u0131ld\u0131k, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck. K\u0131r\u0131k bardak hesab\u0131n\u0131 bir daha inceledik. Madd\u00ee \u00e2lemdeki her bir k\u0131r\u0131k, ba\u015fka bir \u00e2lemdeki k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131n habercisiydi. Nice zamand\u0131r, l\u00fczumsuz kusura bakmalar, g\u00fccenmeler, tesan\u00fcd\u00fc k\u0131rmalar ile ka\u00e7 kalbi k\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k kimbilir? Hem, \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fcz hislerin sevkiyle, ilah\u00ee rahmeti inciten ka\u00e7 fiil i\u015flemi\u015ftik, Allah bilir.<\/p>\n
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O bahsi tekrar tekrar okuduk. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck, ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131k, k\u0131smen olsun sak\u0131nd\u0131k. Dua ettik: Rabbim, bizi, kalan bardaklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 k\u0131rd\u0131rmaktan koru!..<\/p>\n
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\u00a9\u00a02021 karakalem.net, Metin Karaba\u015fo\u011flu<\/p>\n
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\/kitap.asp?book=5<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
10.05.2004 GE\u00c7ENLERDE B\u0130R S\u00dcRAH\u0130 KIRDIM. Masaya otururken, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hayal meyal hissetmem ile \u00e7arpmam bir oldu ve ard\u0131ndan k\u0131sa bir \u015fang\u0131rt\u0131 yank\u0131land\u0131. Bana, kala kala, par\u00e7alar\u0131 toplamak kald\u0131. Bu arada, s\u00fcrahiyle kalmay\u0131p, han\u0131m\u0131n kalbini de k\u0131rd\u0131m. Biraz daha \u00f6teye koyamaz m\u0131yd\u0131? Oysa, s\u00fcrahi her zaman durdu\u011fu yerdeydi. \u0130lk \u015fokun ve o \u015fokla gelen fevr\u00ee tepkilerin ard\u0131ndan, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[132],"class_list":["post-83577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n