12.07.2008<\/p>\n
TRENE B\u0130ND\u0130\u011e\u0130MDE dikkatimi ilk \u00e7eken, bir rakamd\u0131: 65. Ba\u015f\u0131m hafif e\u011fik halde, g\u00f6z hizas\u0131nda ilk o rakam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bir yolcu, okudu\u011fu kitab\u0131n 65. b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne gelmi\u015f olmal\u0131yd\u0131 \u015fimdi.<\/p>\n
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R\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde savrulan bir r\u00fczg\u00e2r gibi halden hale, \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mdan \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131ma sal\u0131n\u0131p duran zihnim, \u00f6nce kitab\u0131n cinsine dair sorgulamalara \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 beni. Muhtemelen, bir roman olmal\u0131yd\u0131 bu. Ba\u015fl\u0131ks\u0131z, sadece numara ile b\u00f6l\u00fcmleme, en ziyade romanlarda istimal olunan bir y\u00f6ntemdi zira.<\/p>\n
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Sonra, 65\u2019in ortalama insan \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn ak\u015fam\u0131na denk d\u00fc\u015fmesinden mi nedir, bu hacimli kitab\u0131n 65. b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fcn, bir insan\u0131n uzun hayat ser\u00fcvenini anlatan bir roman olabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Zihnim, i\u00e7eri\u011fini bilmedi\u011fim bu tahmin\u00ee romanda, 1, 2, 3 derken bir insan\u0131n do\u011fdu\u011fu andan \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne hayat ser\u00fcvenini kurgulamaya ba\u015flad\u0131 birden. 63, 64, 65 diye uzay\u0131p giderken, bir ba\u015fka rakamda bitiveren bir hayat…<\/p>\n
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Sonra, rakamlar\u0131n b\u00f6yle birbiri ard\u0131nca uzay\u0131p gitmesinin, sanki hi\u00e7 bitmeyecek duygusunu insana verdi\u011fini; oysa bu roman\u0131n da, ger\u00e7ek hayatlar\u0131n da birbiri ard\u0131nca gelen rakamlardan birinde bitiverdi\u011fini…<\/p>\n
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\u00d6m\u00fcr dedi\u011fimiz \u015fey, neydi ki? Bir romanda kurgu hayatlara, bir biyografide ise ger\u00e7ek hayatlara dair bir\u015feyler okurken, y\u0131llar\u0131n birbiri ard\u0131s\u0131ra geli\u015fini, birbirine ekleni\u015fini g\u00f6r\u00fcyorduk hep. Romanda 1, 2, 3 diye uzay\u0131p gidiyordu b\u00f6l\u00fcmler; 63, 64, 65 diye her y\u0131l bir yeni say\u0131 eklenerek tarif ediliyordu \u00f6m\u00fcrler.<\/p>\n
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Sal\u0131n\u0131p duran zihnim, tam da burada, bir \u00e2yeti hat\u0131rlayacakt\u0131: \u201cK\u00fcll\u00fcn yecr\u00ee li ecelin m\u00fcsemm\u00e2.\u201d Yani: \u201cHer\u015fey belli bir ecele do\u011fru ak\u0131p gider.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Ecel dedi\u011fimiz belirli bir zamana ve \u00f6m\u00fcr dedi\u011fimiz \u015fey belirli bir zaman aral\u0131\u011f\u0131na denk d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorsa e\u011fer, romanlar\u0131n 1, 2, 3, … 64, 65 diye uzay\u0131p gitmesi de\u011fil, 65, 64, … 3, 2, 1 diye ba\u015flay\u0131p bitmesi daha muvaf\u0131k d\u00fc\u015ferdi diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm bu \u00e2yetin \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda.<\/p>\n
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Ve \u00f6m\u00fcrlerin, bu \u015fekilde m\u00fctalaa edilmesi…<\/p>\n
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Hepimiz, her yeni y\u0131l, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcze bir g\u00fcn daha ekledi\u011fimizi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyoruz.<\/p>\n
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1, 2, 3…<\/p>\n
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22, 23, 24…<\/p>\n
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Ya da benim gibi: 42, 43, 44…<\/p>\n
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Halbuki, bilmesek de, hepimizin belirli bir eceli var. Ve her yeni y\u0131l, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcze bir g\u00fcn y\u0131l eklenmiyor, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fczden bir y\u0131l daha eksiliyor.<\/p>\n
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Her yeni y\u0131l, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz bir y\u0131l daha uzam\u0131yor, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz bir y\u0131l daha k\u0131sal\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
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Belirli bir ecelimiz var. 24 m\u00fc, 44 m\u00fc, 64 m\u00fc, 84 m\u00fc bilinmez; ama belirli bir \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz var.<\/p>\n
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Hayat, biteviye uzay\u0131p giden d\u00fcz ve sonsuz bir \u00e7izgi de\u011fil.<\/p>\n
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Bu d\u00fcnyadaki hayat\u0131m\u0131z, bilmedi\u011fimiz bir noktada bitecek, sonlu bir \u00e7izgiden ibaret.<\/p>\n
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Her an\u0131m\u0131zda, her g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde, her y\u0131l\u0131m\u0131zda, bu \u00e7izgi biraz daha, biraz daha ufal\u0131yor, k\u0131sal\u0131yor, eksiliyor.<\/p>\n
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\u00d6m\u00fcr, y\u0131l \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u0131l ekledi\u011fimiz bir\u015fey de\u011fil.<\/p>\n
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\u00d6m\u00fcr, y\u0131l \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u0131l eksilen bir\u015fey.<\/p>\n
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Eklenen de\u011fil, eksilen y\u0131llar…<\/p>\n
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Eklenen de\u011fil, eksilen g\u00fcnler…<\/p>\n
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Eklenen de\u011fil, eksilen dakikalar…<\/p>\n
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Kimisi 4\u2019ten, kimisi 44\u2019ten, kimisi 84\u2019ten geriye do\u011fru gidiyor; ama her an, her ay, her y\u0131l eksilmede…<\/p>\n
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0\u2019dan 4\u2019e, 0\u2019dan 44\u2019e, 0\u2019dan 84\u2019e de\u011fil yolculuk…<\/p>\n
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84\u2019ten 0\u2019a, 44\u2019ten 0\u2019a, 4\u2019ten 0\u2019a…<\/p>\n
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B\u00f6yle g\u00f6rebilsek, hayata bak\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z, d\u00fcnyaya bak\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z, ge\u00e7en her ana tutunu\u015fumuz \u00e7ok daha farkl\u0131 olacak, besbelli.<\/p>\n
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\u201cK\u00fcll\u00fc men aleyh\u00e2 f\u00e2n. Ve yebk\u00e2 vechu rabbike z\u00fc\u2019l-cel\u00e2li ve\u2019l-ikram\u201d ger\u00e7e\u011fi yol arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z olacak o zaman…<\/p>\n
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T\u00fbl-i emel bizi aldan\u0131\u015flara sevketmeyecek.<\/p>\n
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Mesnev\u00ee-i Nuriye m\u00fcellifinin \u201cGafil nefis d\u00fcnyay\u0131 ahirete ba\u011fl\u0131 ve ahiretle biti\u015fik bir menzil zannediyor\u201d diye haber verdi\u011fi gafletten yakas\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131y\u0131racak i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyam\u0131z.<\/p>\n
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\u00d6m\u00fcr dedi\u011fin nedir ki?<\/p>\n
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Eklenmeyen, eksilen…<\/p>\n
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B\u00fcy\u00fcmeyen, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fclen…<\/p>\n
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\u00c7o\u011falmayan, azalan…<\/p>\n
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Her yeni y\u0131l, \u00f6mre bir y\u0131l\u0131n daha eklendi\u011fi bir hayat, bu d\u00fcnya hayat\u0131 de\u011fil.<\/p>\n
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Eksilmeyip eksilen, sonlu de\u011fil sonsuz bir \u00e7izgide ilerleyip giden \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz, \u201cZ\u00e2like yevmu\u2019l-hul\u00fbd\u201d mesaj\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00f6teler diyar\u0131n\u0131n, ahiret yurdunun ger\u00e7e\u011fi; bu d\u00fcnyan\u0131n de\u011fil…<\/p>\n
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Bir kitap d\u00fc\u015fl\u00fcyorum. Bir roman. Bir biyografi yahut…<\/p>\n
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\u0130lk b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn numaras\u0131, 65 mesel\u00e2, 85 yahut…<\/p>\n
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Her yeni b\u00f6l\u00fcmde, rakam giderek k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcyor…<\/p>\n
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Bilmem yaz\u0131l\u0131r m\u0131?<\/p>\n
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Yaz\u0131lsa okunur mu?<\/p>\n
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Korkuyoruz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7eklerden…<\/p>\n
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Oysa ger\u00e7ek bu: Belirlenmi\u015f bir ecele do\u011fru ak\u0131yor hayatlar\u0131m\u0131z. \u00d6m\u00fcr sermayemiz g\u00fcn be g\u00fcn eksiliyor.<\/p>\n
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Bilmesek de, g\u00f6rmesek de, kabullenmek istemesek de…<\/p>\n
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\u0130yisi mi ayaklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 denk almal\u0131, sa\u011flam zemine basmal\u0131, yat\u0131r\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fcnya hayat\u0131 adl\u0131 u\u00e7urumun kenar\u0131na de\u011fil, \u00f6teler diyar\u0131na yapmal\u0131…<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
12.07.2008 TRENE B\u0130ND\u0130\u011e\u0130MDE dikkatimi ilk \u00e7eken, bir rakamd\u0131: 65. Ba\u015f\u0131m hafif e\u011fik halde, g\u00f6z hizas\u0131nda ilk o rakam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bir yolcu, okudu\u011fu kitab\u0131n 65. b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne gelmi\u015f olmal\u0131yd\u0131 \u015fimdi. R\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde savrulan bir r\u00fczg\u00e2r gibi halden hale, \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mdan \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131ma sal\u0131n\u0131p duran zihnim, \u00f6nce kitab\u0131n cinsine dair sorgulamalara \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 beni. Muhtemelen, bir roman olmal\u0131yd\u0131 bu. Ba\u015fl\u0131ks\u0131z, sadece […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[132],"class_list":["post-83280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n