22.08.2008<\/p>\n
B\u0130R DOSTUMLA oturmu\u015f halle\u015firken, sohbetin davetsiz misafiri olarak, s\u00f6zlerimizi b\u0131\u00e7ak gibi kesip konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 adam. \u201cB\u00fct\u00fcn ki\u015fili\u011fimiz yedi ya\u015f\u0131na kadar \u015fekilleniyor. Ondan sonraki hayat\u0131m\u0131z, karakterimiz, o ya\u015fa kadar ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131za g\u00f6re bi\u00e7im al\u0131yor.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Sonra, \u201cMesel\u00e2 ben…\u201d c\u00fcmleleri geldi birbiri ard\u0131s\u0131ra. Sab\u0131rla dinledi\u011fimiz o c\u00fcmlelerin ard\u0131ndan, s\u00f6z nihayet bitti ve biz sohbetimizin kendi \u00f6zel ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6nebildik.<\/p>\n
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Manidard\u0131r, \u0130stanbul\u2019un orta yerinde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu taptaze olay, s\u0131la-i rahim i\u00e7in gitti\u011fim memleketimde \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumun b\u00fcy\u00fck k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7inde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m evimizin bah\u00e7esinde bir gece vakti tek ba\u015f\u0131na dolan\u0131rken akl\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fen bir m\u00e2n\u00e2yla birebir ilgiliydi.<\/p>\n
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Bah\u00e7ede \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumun hat\u0131ralar\u0131 bir bir hayalimden sinema \u015feridi gibi ak\u0131p giderken, \u201cBana baban\u0131 anlat\u201d diye s\u00f6ze ba\u015flayan psikanalistlerin nas\u0131l da s\u00f6z\u00fcmona \u00e7ocuklu\u011fun derinliklerine inip insanlar\u0131n bug\u00fcn\u00fcne, ki\u015fili\u011fine dair analizler yapabildiklerine de tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 zihnim. B\u00f6ylece, b\u00fct\u00fcn insanlar\u0131n nas\u0131l da s\u00f6z\u00fcmona bir \u2018kader kurban\u0131\u2019na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f(t\u00fcr\u00fcl)ebildi\u011fini; sonraki zaman diliminde sergilemi\u015f oldu\u011fumuz herhangi bir yanl\u0131\u015f\u0131n nas\u0131l da merhametsiz ve anakronik bir determinizmin a\u00e7\u0131klama alan\u0131na hapsedilebildi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm sonra. Oradan, hayatlar\u0131n\u0131n bug\u00fcn\u00fcnde ki\u015filik zaaf\u0131 sergileyen, insan-insan ili\u015fkilerinde ciddi hatalar ve hatta zul\u00fcmler sergileyen insanlar\u0131n, vicdanlar\u0131 onlar\u0131 tazib edip do\u011fruya sevkedecek yerde, bu a\u00e7\u0131k kap\u0131dan nas\u0131l ka\u00e7abildiklerine y\u00f6nelmi\u015fti d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim.<\/p>\n
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\u015e\u00fck\u00fcr ki, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumun ge\u00e7ti\u011fi o m\u00fctevaz\u0131 evin bah\u00e7esinde \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumun hat\u0131ralar\u0131 i\u00e7inde dola\u015f\u0131rken, bir tortu yoktu kalbimin \u00fczerinde. Ruhumun hi\u00e7bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde, \u201cBabam b\u00f6yle davrand\u0131, annem b\u00f6yle demi\u015fti, bana \u015funu yapt\u0131lar\u201d t\u00fcr\u00fcnden bir s\u0131zlanma yoktu.<\/p>\n
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M\u00fckemmel bir \u00e7ocukluk mu ge\u00e7irmi\u015ftim peki? Her\u015fey toz pembe ya\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131; \u00e7ocukluk d\u00fcnyam\u0131n i\u00e7ine hi\u00e7bir grili\u011fin, hi\u00e7bir h\u00fczn\u00fcn ve hi\u00e7bir ac\u0131n\u0131n girmesine m\u00fcsaade olunmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in miydi bu tortusuzluk?<\/p>\n
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Hay\u0131r. Psikanalizin her\u015feyi \u00e7ocuklu\u011fa ba\u011flayan analizlerinin fazlaca tesiri alt\u0131ndaki ana-babalar taraf\u0131ndan a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 bir itinayla b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fclmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131lan bug\u00fcn\u00fcn \u2018sera mahsul\u00fc\u2019 \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n hayatlar\u0131n\u0131n aksine, hayat\u0131n her t\u00fcrl\u00fc cilvesiyle y\u00fczy\u00fcze gelebildi\u011fimiz bir \u00e7ocukluktu ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z.<\/p>\n
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Ama \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr ki, bug\u00fcnden bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, o \u00e7ocukluk g\u00fcnlerine dair, i\u00e7imde bir tortu yoktu.<\/p>\n
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O hal \u00fczere, bug\u00fcn bizim sergiliyor oldu\u011fumuz b\u00fct\u00fcn zaaflar\u0131n ard\u0131nda anne-babalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ve do\u011fup b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz ortam\u0131 e\u015feleyen determinist psikanalitik \u015fartlanman\u0131n bir b\u00fcy\u00fck ger\u00e7e\u011fi g\u00f6zard\u0131 etti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc akl\u0131m.<\/p>\n
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Bir c\u00fcmleyle ifade edilebilir haldeki bir b\u00fcy\u00fck ger\u00e7e\u011fi.<\/p>\n
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Bug\u00fcn bize ait olan zaaflar\u0131 d\u00fcne atfeden bu yakla\u015f\u0131m, insan\u0131 adeta \u2018kader mahkumu\u2019na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fcp bir bak\u0131ma tenzih ederken, \u2018imtihan\u2019 s\u0131rr\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6zard\u0131 ediyor.<\/p>\n
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Daha do\u011frusu, hayat imtihan\u0131nda i\u015faretledi\u011fimiz yanl\u0131\u015f \u015f\u0131klar\u0131n hesab\u0131n\u0131 bizden ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n hesab\u0131na yaz\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
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\u0130yi \u015feyler bizden, k\u00f6t\u00fc \u015feyler ortamdan, ebeveynden, kaderden…<\/p>\n
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Halbuki, hayat tecr\u00fcbemiz i\u00e7inde g\u00f6r\u00fcyoruz ki, \u2018iyi insan\u2019 olman\u0131n yolu \u2018m\u00fckemmel ortamlar\u2019dan ge\u00e7miyor.<\/p>\n
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Di\u011fer bir deyi\u015fle, ne bizim kaderimiz anne-babalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ellerine verilmi\u015fti ve bizim ki\u015fili\u011fimizi onlar \u015fekillendirip bizi bu ki\u015fili\u011fe mahkum etti; ne de \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n kaderi ve ki\u015fili\u011fi bizim ellerimizde…<\/p>\n
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Bilakis, c\u00fcmleyi \u015f\u00f6yle kurmak gerekiyor: Anne-babalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bize nas\u0131l davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131, anne-babalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n imtihan\u0131d\u0131r. Bizim o davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 nas\u0131l i\u00e7selle\u015ftirdi\u011fimiz, nas\u0131l yorumlay\u0131p \u015fekillendirdi\u011fimiz ise, bizim imtihan\u0131m\u0131z…<\/p>\n
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Yoksa, irade denilen \u015fey insana niye verilmi\u015f olsun?<\/p>\n
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\u0130rade, yedi ya\u015f\u0131nda \u2018otomati\u011fe ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015f\u2019 bir motor mudur; yoksa as\u0131l yedi ya\u015f\u0131ndan, hele ki onbe\u015finden sonra kullanmaya muktedir oldu\u011fumuz bir b\u00fcy\u00fck il\u00e2h\u00ee hediye mi?<\/p>\n
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Kendimizi kader mahkumu, \u015fartlar\u0131n esiri, anne-baba kurban\u0131 biliyorsak, bilelim ki iradesizli\u011fin esiri, kendini kusurlardan ve zaaflardan tenzih i\u00e7in \u00e2lemlerin Rabbi dahil herkesi ve her\u015feyi su\u00e7lamaya yatk\u0131n nefsimizin mahkumuyuz…<\/p>\n
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\u00a9\u00a02021 karakalem.net, Metin Karaba\u015fo\u011flu<\/p>\n
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\/kitap.asp?book=141<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
22.08.2008 B\u0130R DOSTUMLA oturmu\u015f halle\u015firken, sohbetin davetsiz misafiri olarak, s\u00f6zlerimizi b\u0131\u00e7ak gibi kesip konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 adam. \u201cB\u00fct\u00fcn ki\u015fili\u011fimiz yedi ya\u015f\u0131na kadar \u015fekilleniyor. Ondan sonraki hayat\u0131m\u0131z, karakterimiz, o ya\u015fa kadar ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131za g\u00f6re bi\u00e7im al\u0131yor.\u201d Sonra, \u201cMesel\u00e2 ben…\u201d c\u00fcmleleri geldi birbiri ard\u0131s\u0131ra. Sab\u0131rla dinledi\u011fimiz o c\u00fcmlelerin ard\u0131ndan, s\u00f6z nihayet bitti ve biz sohbetimizin kendi \u00f6zel ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6nebildik. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[132],"class_list":["post-83272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"yoast_head":"\n